Bastardly Birthday: The Beautiful Nicole "Coco" Austin is 29!


When you look at her, she still looks like an innocent 18 year old with slightly enlarged body parts that God gifted her, but believe it or not, our favorite Coco celebrated her 29th birthday with husband/sugar daddy/pimp at her side. The big bash was held @ the ultra exclusive and pimped out Plumm nightclub in NYC.

And, since we know you bastards love Nicole & her voluptuous ass, we're going to link to one of our all-time favorite Coco posts: Coco vs Coralie Eichholtz/Robinson - Bastardly Ho Matchup! This was posted way back in March, 2006.

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50 Scandalous Comments

"the beautiful nicole" man, u need to fucking get laid

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:07pm
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haha, I think she's hot in a cartoonish kind of way

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:11pm
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why a man would put a wedding ring on that is beyond me. if her mouth was wide open, you'd be forgiven for slipping your cock in, for the fact that she resembles a blow up doll.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:14pm
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She's really stubby & short, makes her thighs look like a cellulite fiest, she should starve herself, all though her nails would fall off, but, hey, that's why there are fake nails

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:14pm
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2,
let's say she is hot...but beautiful? the word beautiful and this thing dont belong in the same sentence EVER

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:16pm
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lmao, in the third picture that looks like "fail" printed on the ass of her dress. *geekgasms*

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:17pm
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#5 agree, she's not beautiful, that fucking JAW!!!!

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:20pm
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Yeah, she looks like she was the runner up in the World Fellatio Championships. I'd sex tape her though. Hot, but not beautiful. That's pushing it.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:25pm
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#8.. you mean you would tape you and her having sex, or you would tape her down???

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:30pm
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well d55, I'd hit it, I bet she's a tigresse in bed.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:31pm
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i really thought it said the " beautiful" Nicole... but i guess not

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:39pm
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My friend allways carries so called "rape tape" along with him

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:41pm
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maybe beautiful is some kind of euphemism. if thats the case maybe it really means the "whorish" nicole or the "tart"...

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:43pm
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well, maybe "the beautiful" title was some type of sarcasm...cuz the caption on the first page about her being 100% natural has got to be

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:45pm
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Fucking that chick would be like getting a license for a burnt cock.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:54pm
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d55
you got it

its sarcasm

anyways she makes my penis shrivel up and die

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:54pm
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hahaha and she certainly still looks like an innocent 18 year old

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 11:07pm
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you just know there is a "beautiful" gaping cameltoe under that dress...

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 11:25pm
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dayum this chick is fucking hot!!!

whoops wrong post > thought i was still on the Britney post

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:00am
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eeew this chick is fucking nasty!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:10am
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That bitch is so nasty. In a crack-whore kind of way nasty.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 7:56am
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dude....i thought she was in her 40's....i'm not joking!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:02am
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oh god...fishnets on those thighs...*puke*

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:22am
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weee easter ham!!!! =D yay

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:23am
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maybe she looks like something to fuck, but she is not that beauty....

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:38am
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she is a HOT woman,and i shall add her to my list

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 9:20am
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Wait, wait, wait. You are all missing the point:

29!?

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 10:32am
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ok, just like bangs are back, fishnets are back, as well!!

DON'T HATE, YOU BASTAAADS!!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 11:14am
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She does look extremely sexy ...but I think that trying to screw this chick....is like trying to screw the New York Subway...

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 11:35am
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i've seen worse.

i always thought she was somewhere in her late 30s though.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:04pm
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That ass is the business!!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:25pm
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Okay 29 going on 40. Yeah she has more miles than a third world country rent-a-car. I don't mind her curves but she dresses really bad - its one thing to promote her curves but she is more cheep and trashy. Also no offense to ICE T, but she is just using the brother for PR. Cmon ICE are you that whipped.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:25pm
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she would be pretty if she was less fake.

that being said, I could rock that dress so much better! I have the booty and boobs, and they're real..plus it'd be less trashy on a brunette. it would actually be hot, in a European-club-scene sort of way. which is perfect, considering that's exactly where I'd wear it.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:36pm
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BITCH don't hate it's all her husband

Sunday, July 13th, 2008 @ 11:51am
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I WONDER WHERE HE PUTS HIS BALLS,WHEN ICE T HITS THE ASS

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 1:13pm
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How many times has she turned 29?

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 1:39pm
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obviously oblivious and ostentatious overexposed otter! outwardly okay, over all overly overplayed overkill

lol I don't even know if that makes any sense

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 7:00pm
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i'd hit it,das' some gangsta ass

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 10:20pm
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nasty hot slut!

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 1:59am
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i like her in a cartoonish way, but bit nasty slut

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 2:08am
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What a natural and ravishing beauty. Holy shit. My god. I'm flabbergasted.

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:13pm
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Coco is wayyy to thick, IMO. Her legs are like sausages.
Now, that Emma B. is 100% better in all way.

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:18pm
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Doesn't do anything for me. But then, she doesn't have to.

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:36pm
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Every Girl Has A Camel Toe!!...She Just Promotes Hers Better, Thats All..I'D ride that Camel Till It Bucked Me Off...

Friday, June 13th, 2008 @ 4:01am
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i hav 2 give CoCo masive credit she puts up wit so much shit from her hubby ICE-T my god has anyone seen the pics of him trying to eat her tit in front oh a live audience My GOD i think she pretty look at her eyes

Sunday, July 13th, 2008 @ 11:56am
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