Caption This, Bitches! (Eva Longoria Talks To Santa @ Disneyland!)
Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008 while eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
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"Santa, can you make sure Claude puts something in my "stocking"?"
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okay so whatever he who must not be named... i don't care what you say Eva's hair is FAB here!
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On page 2 Santa has a look on his face like he just jizzed in his pants.
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CAN YOU PUT SOME MISTLETOE IN MY PANTIES, MY BOX SMELLS LIKE TUNA SUPREME
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She's asking for a 12" dick.
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"I want to be America Ferrera."
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"what fuck is Richard Shitking doing dressed as Santa?"
we've all seen that creepy trademark Richturd look that Santa has in pic 2
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I don't think it's Eva but if it were, i'd imagine her asking for a bit of backdoor action by me. i'll even bring the salsa
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"Hey Santa. If you're down for leaving Mrs. Claus, I will go to the back and you can give me a pink sock. Love ya!"
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Pers, I'd like to see her go away.
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"Hey, Santa! Puttin' yer candy cane down my pants is a 'slam dunk'!"
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Why do I try? Really? What do I have to gain from it? I will tell you, nothing! Ask me what I want for Christmas. Go on ask. I want you to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. I was out buying a few last minute gifts and I saw a young woman who looked a lot like Eva Longoria with an old fat son of a bitch like Santa. I mean I would have sacrificed my youngest to release my seed in that woman. Maybe castrated myself too. You know give her a present she will never forget. In me yearning, I walked right into the Starbucks line and caused more than several patrons to spill their coffee. Feeling like the douche bag I am, I offered to buy everyone more, more to the tune of $67.43. $67 fucking dollars and 43 fucking cents. Therefore, I put it on my credit card...the same credit card I just maxed out to by my whore wife a pair of diamond earrings. I hope she takes them off while she is fucking my brother. "Your kids look more like your brother than you." no shit! My wife has been fucking my brother! My kids do not get me started on them. They only see me as paycheck. They hate me. I am always gone for work. I am providing for them and my higher than high maintenance wife so daddy is the bad guy. “Daddy is always gone. Daddy is always tired. Daddy never sees me play baseball.” More like daddy is eyeballs high in debt and ready to fucking suck on the barrel of a shotgun. At least I will have the image of that Eva Longoria look-a-like as I jack off in the shower tonight. Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.
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she actually kinda looks good here
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Dear Santa:... 13 inches...
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She's beautiful!
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SHE WANTS A NEW FACE. BECAUSE SHE'S SO
FUCKING UGLY.
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