Where Does Orlando Bloom Rank On The Lucky Bastard List?
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
Orlando Bloom & his Victoria's Secret Angel spent Thanksgiving sexing it up in Venice, Italy. This is right after Miranda got finished walking the lingerie runway in Miami. But seriously, looking at these pics, it appears as if Orlando & Miranda are so deeply in love that they're ready to elope any day. Bastard. What more could any dude ask from life...?
1. Be one of the main cast members of a multi-billion dollar Hollywood trilogy---CHECK!
2. Sleep with a Victoria's Secret Angel & possibly her co-workers & friends in the future if current relationship falls through---CHECK!
In the highly exclusive world of lucky bastards, I'd have to say Orlando ranks right behind Marko Jaric b/c it's more than obvious that Adrina Lima's about 30x freakier in bed than Miranda Kerr (right?).
He ranks at number one. Talentless fuck.
Curse you Bloom!
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He plays a good elf.
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Number on on my list is:
1. Alessandra's Husband - Lucky Fucking Bastard MuttaFucker
2. Candice Swanepoel's Boyfriend - Muttafucker! Fuck the fucking fucker.
3. Bloom - Fuck his hobo lifestyle.
4-10 - all the significant other of all the beautiful VS models - Fuck them all Lucky Bastards!
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Lucky Bastards: Reggie Bush, Jay-Z, Jason Timberlake (if he's still with Jessica Biel), and whoever's hittin' Gabrielle Union or Sanaa Latham. Bloom is somewhere way down the line.
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Hot damn. You were reading my mind with this list. Jay-Z is the worst. His chick makes more than all those others.. and so much Azz. *taking another gulp of the Hater-Aid* so bitter.
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LMAO!!
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I'm going to cast my ballot for the dude who is nailing Doutzen. She's hot like the other VS models, but she has a body that leads me to believe that she could get jackhammered with no problem. The others are so thin and I can't imagine that it would be all the great. Great to be seen with but perhaps not so great to fuck.
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Neither one is especially good-looking. It's a lose-lose situation on both sides.
JT - He was at his hottest as an elf. He should keep the long blonde hair and lose the facial hair.
Goli - Totally agree with your Lucky Bastard list. Reggie is hot and Kim is a lucky girl. :) I love Reggie. Geaux Saints!
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Yes, we all know Miranda has OBie wear his elf ears when involved in tantric porno sex.
Reggie will get MVP due to sexual cartwheels him and Kimmy are going through hour after hour. Hey it's obviously doing wonders! Who's to argue.
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Life is unfair.
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I hate him just because.
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WTF..not even top 10 or 20..she's not that hot..i can think of 20 o 30 girl better than her...Fucking Skeleton!
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i hate her coz he is so hot
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Come on, Orlando, you're getting her all icky. Don't you know unwashed douchebaggery is contagious? It takes its female form in Kirsten Dunst. He's shitting on his own parade, here.
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i hate orlando for stealing my face...son of a bitch...people keep saying i look like him...what the FUCK??....HE looks like ME!!!!!!!!!!not the other way around...made my life miserable...and kinda not so miserable...coz i keep gettin chicks who dig him..but settle for the "lookalike"...so...i guess...i don't hate him...thanks mate!!
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Well I don't envy none of this bastards...I have to admit they must have something all this nice chicks like...how they treat them, money, popularity, looks,some talent.. man there's so many things, us ordinary people just don't have at the same time, But that's Hollywood, love em and leave em...
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Note for your calculations - he's one of the main cast members in TWO multi-billion dollar Hollywood trilogies.
Bastard.
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My lucky bastards Top 3 list:
1- Leonardo DiCaprio ... Look at Bar Refaeli
2- Marko Jaric ... Adriana is the hottest woman on the planet, but that "virgin" thing makes Marko a little less lucky than Leonardo
3- Alessandra Ambrosio's boyfriend
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Brian Austin Green is the luckiest bastard.
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MIRANDA IS FUCKING UGLY. MIRANDA IS FUCKING FUGLY.
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i think theyre a really cute couple :)
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ugh nothing sexy about either one of those childlike people. Orlando looks gay and Miranda looks like her parents are siblings.
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I'd say poor guy. He's banging a starving Ethiopian chick minus the tan.
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"Miranda looks like her parents are siblings."
That's hands down the funniest thing I've heard all day!
But common she is cute!
-Screw Edward Cullen, my JagXF sparkles in the sun!
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The guy in pic 4 is cute.
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SHES CUTE BUT PLAIN.
ORLANDO LOOKS LIKE THE MODEL IN THIS COUPLE.
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Funny pick! He is desperately trying to find some ass. No way, Orlando. Miranda is only skin and bones. There is no ass there, honey.
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