Why Did We Choose Kelly Clarkson To Welcome The Pope?
Sunday, April 20th, 2008 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
To celebrate Pope Benedict XVI's appearance at a rally with youth and seminarians in Yonkers, N.Y., Kelly Clarkson's ass was flown in to entertain the masses.
Were Jessica Simpson & the Pussy Cat Dolls booked up or what?!
If anything, having a skankly clad hotties shake their asses on stage might be just the thing that a bunch of sexually frustrated priests need to keep them from ravaging w/ 10 year old alter boys. Ok, my bad. That was gross.
She was chosen because of that AWESOME cross tattoo on her wrist.
Nothing shows you're more Catholic than having permanent ink on your body!
Just a random thought...what would the Pope think about a women getting a cross tattoo around the coochie area?
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MrButthead that would cause all kinds of sexual position blasphemy
imagine the cross tattoo, right side up for missionary,
would be inverted and satanic if she were 69ing
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I wish I could be famous and make millions for winning a karaoke contest too.
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She could have dressed a little nicer.
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Because she's chubby.
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... Kelly Clarkson's ENORMOUS ass was flown in to entertain the masses.
fixed it for ya ^^
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WTF it looks like Jesus is about to finger her. You're supposed to use your pinky, not thumb, sir.
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The whole concept is just gross.
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She needs to invest in a new pair of jeans, she looks like she grew out of those a few years back and they also look old and blah.
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I don't understand why she always dresses in black shirts and pants.. it does not make her look thin. She could though, be cute if she dressed better. Gross.
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For a chunky chick she is pretty hot.
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she is a virgin probably.....cant find of any other reason!
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oh man...this is really bastardly lol
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Why does she have silly string all over her shirt???
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Ew at Kelly ew at sexually frustrated popes. Just ew, ew, at everything. Ew.
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So where's the Pope? no picture of him? I'd bet he was drooling through out the show....
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Fat chicks are the last person you will choose when you are looking for someone to reproduce with. (If you have a choice, that is.) It's science baby. They chose her because this way nobody will be having any inappropriate thoughts.
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she's still chunky, but she honestly looks like she's lost *some* weight. and her face/hair look pretty...she just needs a trainer and nutritionist. and hit the gym a little harder
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The dyke has an amazing voice. But the whole Jesus thing is creepy.
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every evil religion needs an evil soundtrack...
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every evil religion needs an evil soundtrack...
lol...
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@ #17 - You sound like such a stupid bitch Jennyla.
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Now Douche, bitch? maybe to some, but stupid? No. I think my theory on why Kelly Clarkson has been chosen is GENIUS. They can't get the fucking pussycat dolls on there, the pope will probably cream his robe.
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Someone also called you ugly, jennyla, I think it was pookie. Where is he anyway??
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michaela, are you pamela in disguise? if so, you're doing a bad job.
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It looks like everything she eats goes straight to her hips and thighs!
Literally!
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He would know, right? because I am stupid enough to post my pictures? Not. In fact "Pookie" has probably seen my pictures back from when I was 15 and jacked off to them because some bitch you met in a chatroom stole them from me and claimed they were her. Even if I was a big ugly hairy ogre why would it matter? Everything I preach is completely 100% true.
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Man I bet she takes REALLY BIG shits!
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@ # 23 - I doubt so Jenny, well all know that popes, in general, like little boys better anyway. *zing* lol
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^^^
*we
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DB - I think you've got it all figured out. :)
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i know her, and i am some kelly clarkson fan for long time as johnny benson's fan, the new pope really rocks!
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@ # 14-to distract you from the fat
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Critize as much as you want on her appearance, but you can't deny it, she has a beautiful voice.
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...She is a fatty Mcfatass, and thus represents the average American female.
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What were they thinking??? This is the best we can come up with??? She's better suited to sing at the County Fair than for The Pope.
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Do you think the Pope is in the United States to see why the checks from the US are not as fat as they used to be?
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No one even knows how much money the Catholic Church is worth collectively. A lot.
I don't think that human beings (e.g. priests) were meant to be celibate, it goes against nature.
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I think the Pope has a idea how much money the Catholic church has. Somebody knows!
How do they get away with not paying taxes?
I should start my own religion. Is there some sort of application I have to fill out?
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I don't think religious organizations have to pay taxes because they are supposedly non-profit.
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A member of my family joined the Catholic church one day years ago and never went back. We still get the envelopes in the mail every month (the ones you put money into), but never a phone call to see why this person is doing or call to ask why they haven't been to mass. They only called once, because they needed capitol for the church expansion.
That's pretty much all I need to know about the catholic church.
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Yes, they are relentless with the envelopes and the collection baskets. I was trained as a child to drop the money in every Sunday. Luckily, it didn't stay with me.
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Hallery - Yes, I can see you are smarter than that! :)
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#35 put it best...I think:
...She is a fatty Mcfatass, and thus represents the average American female.
That is part of it, but only the tip of the iceberg.....Kelly Clarkson and American Idol are safe...And that is what America wants to portray. Her "I'm gonna be rebel" album suck donkey ass and now she is back on track to produce many more years of mediocre albums for the masses. Couple more years of Ameican Idol and Prozac and we will all just get up from our chairs and walk off a ravine.
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2 things.
1 - Pope was in the secure Popemobile so Clarkson wouldnt/couldnt eat him.
2 - Pope was thinking with chicks like this, he now knows why alterboys are in such danger.
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She is a very good singer and you guys should respect her. All those other skans with no talent who get attention only because they dress and act like sl*ts should be blamed, not a nice and talented person like Kelly.
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REpREsentin YO
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TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT CALL HER FAT: I wana see you lot upload a picture, bet most of you are alot bigger than her.
She isn't even fat, your just probs aneroxic.
So screw you...
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no she's fat
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