Archive - Nov 2004
Britney's Homeless Hairstyle
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
Britney became yet another socialite with a Chihuahua. Surprise-surprise. This brings another variable into their relationship, so it will be interesting to see what role this simple Chihuahua will play in the downfall of Britney Spears.
Anyway, screw the dog. Notice Britney's hair. Do these two just get up every morning with simple urges (i.e. frapicinos, coffee, Cheetos, puppies, etc) and then rush out the door with whatever clothes they have on?
By the way, we're still waiting for Jen's photo to compare whether she has better hair than Britney.
South Park Slaps Around Paris Hilton
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
Set your Tivos!
On the Comedy Central show, the girls of South Park's fourth grade idolize Hilton, and each one owns Paris' "very special toy set" - a kit that comes complete with video camera, night-vision filter, play money and losable cell phone.
When word reaches the girls that Paris might visit South Park, they try to impress their idol by getting the town's boys to help make their own "videos." [NY Post]
Episode #812 - Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset airs tomorrow @ 10:00PM!
Credit also goes to South Park X for this post.
Lauren from the Laguna Beach: The Real OC
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 when Paris usually finishes having sex by Moe
I know we're gonna get hate mail for the photo above. I just couldn't hold myself, damn it!
First of all, I have yet to watch one episode of this show. I don't think I'll have the patience to sit through it. Anyway, another photo follows with some lucky Asian dude w/ "LC" (what a lame nickname, by the way). Did he get her drunk & sleep with her? Judging from the tolerance level of 98% of the Asian community, I'd have to say that he was probably faded after finishing the drink he's holding in the photo. The recessive Alcohol Tolerence Gene is the Achili's heel of all Asian guys going for white chicks.
Ciara: Smooth, Milk Chocolate
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 in the weewizzle hours by Moe
Since I'm pretty out of it, I recently saw a couple of her booty shakin' video on her website & my God, I was impressed! This girl reminds me a little of Alliyah, except she has a killer booty & an attitude to go with it. I can see Ush hitting her up once he gets his head out of his ass and realizes that he's wasting away his youth with an abusive, old woman.
Everyone, except probably Steve, should check out her website & maybe watch a video or two.
Jackson first brought her up in a comment to a post that was centered around Beyonce & other bootilicious women.
Tommy Lee & His Hot Tutor, Natalie Reedman
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004 late in the damn evening, after tantric sex by Moe
It's killer. You know, it's… I never got to go to college, 'cause at 17, I got a recording contract with MÖTLEY, and I bailed. And so this is an experience that I never got to experience. It's a lot of fun. There's tons of hot chicks. And I'm actually learning — believe it or not — I'm actually learning and taking tests and I have a really hot tutor that's helping me out. It's all love. It's fun. -Tommy Lee [Rat Daddy Vince Neil's Site]
Dude, the chick is not too shabby and I know we'll see blurred out clips of Tommy Lee tutoring her in the art of making love to a man with a 3 feet long penis! Don't lie to yourselves, girls. It's perfectly alright if you're looking forward to it. When they asked her why they chose her in particular to be Tommy's tutor, she was like, "uh, I don't know. I was like-like walkin' around campus with like a bunch of friends & they like blah blah blah." Ditsiness is so sexy sometimes! Check out the video clip @ Access Hollywood.
So has this guy left the university already or what??
Usher & Mistress Naomi @ Hawks Game
Monday, November 29th, 2004 early in the evening, before sex by Moe
Usher's lookin' pretty homeless. The bags under his eyes & unshaven face could mean only one of two things: Naomi's already stressing him out or possibly too much sex & too little sleep (or both).
Usher, is your risking your life really worth the sex?! Her boney ass can't possibly be that good!!
The Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: GloThong!
Monday, November 29th, 2004 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
Only a brotha could be so creative!
Being guys, it didn't take us long to gravitate to them. My co-workers find it endlessly entertaining. Inventor, Beau Carpenter. [Houston Chronicle]
Yes, girls & cross-dressing boys. For only $49.95, you can light up a room with your thong! How sexy is that?! Apparently the thong is powered by the kinetic energy created by the movements of your booty. If you believed me, you’re pretty sad. Actually a couple rechargeable batteries power up the holy device & if for some reason you’re too busy having sex & forget to recharge your thong, no worries! You can charge it up in the car while you're driving to your booty-shaking venue! Anyway, Beau Carpenter, the MBA student who invented the device, provides some additional wisdom:
I would not recommend driving and recharging at the same time. It's really meant to be recharged off of the body.
If you want to bag a free Bastardly.com T-shirt, send a photo of yourself sporting this sacred thong! (Rules: Girls only. Please remember to take the photo in the dark, unless, of course, you’re completely nude. I’M KIDDING!!)
Olsen Monkey Clone!
Monday, November 29th, 2004 in the weewizzle hours by Moe
You'd think the Olsen Monkey Clone could've at least ordered a tall-sized coffee! But oh no! That would result in being bitch-slapped by her master. How sad is the life of a fucking clone?!
