Primer: Keep Annoying People Away

Wow, am I an annoying person? I think I fit 3 out of the 6 types. That must be why I have no friends. Hahahahahaha.

i whole heartedly concur...although you forgot the

(insert jaws theme here)

DA nah...DA nah....DA NANANANANANANA

THE DRAMA QUEEN.

ooooooh they make for shitfriends.

i'll share if i may an anecdote from an overly dramatic friend i had of highschool years past. of course all the signs were present (mildly cutting herself on purpose and showing us, morbidly afraid of everything outdoors, crying after every close call on the road, talking about her cat incessantly, doll collecting, INHALING food and then claiming she never ate), but alas i was not the sarcastic asshole i am now and i tolerated it endlessly. she had a journal with cats on it (uhg) she'd BRING into school all the time...and flash it out of her bag every 15 minutes, reminding us over and over how private it was. eventually someone tired of her game and asked to read it.

i'll let you feel the urge to pummel her for yourself.

not sure what the avoiding technique would be...?

First of all, you're a good friend, but there is a line that you must be wary of in all friendships...the abuse line.

I've had similar friends, but once I discover that a certain friend is turning out to be a drag on my days (meaning, they are wasting your time w/ lots of unnecessary bullshit), i begin to treat them as any other annoying person by using the strategies listed above.

By the way, the drama queen (and king) are very common personality types. It's like a disease w/ no cure, I tell you. It progressively gets worse and worse w/ age & those are are cursed w/ such a personality responsible for loss of friendships, divorces, wars, terrorism (basically all the evils of this world are rooted by overly dramatic people).

My Drama Queen/King Personality type will come soon. God, I'm so sad.

another annoying thing people do is date you then breack up with you and then the next day act as though nothig happened.(DIERECTED AT GUYS ONLY)

Help me out here...

There's an annoying -annoying person in my office & she has invited me to her wedding (next month). I personally do not want to build up our relationship than what it is now (she talks I listen, she annoys, I get annoyed, etc)

She asks me (along with the rest of the damn office) almost every day whether I've made up my mind to come or not. I feel like just straight up lying, but the guilt gets to me. And, plus, this woman is super emotional & I don’t want to be responsible for making her cry.

What shall I do, all you bastardly people out there? I'm taking off from work all next week, so I can't really use vacation time as an excuse, so I need something better that will shut her up!

Moe- I can't believe you are taking a week off of work and didn't decide to come to costa rica with me. How rude! I'm assuming you didn't get my postcard yet ...

I say tell her you have plans. That you can't go cause you have some family function that came up. Or some religious holiday or something. If worse comes to worse, tell you don't want to go to her wedding cause, you don't like her. That will definitely get her off your back.

I agree with miss, just make up some excuse, like family shit it's not that hard to think of something... I am sure she'll be more into her wedding day, then worrying about weather you are showing up or not! And if she does get upset, too bad!

I hate this situation. I too have passively suffered through time-wasting, self-absorbed gibberish, shaking my head and interjecting with the obligatory "yeah" just to pacify these annoying social leeches. I have found a few cures (or treatments for symptoms rather). Be proactive and turn the annoyance around. It does have consequences, mainly their opinion of you, but what they think doesn't matter anyway. Some of these techniques do require medium-sized balls or larger.

If they express characteristics of someone they don't like, go out of your way to display this behavior around them (e.g. lisp, stutter, cross eyes, particuliar religious or political beliefs, or all of the above). Make their experience uncomfortable. Make them feel guilty.

If you suspect they are insecure about a trait of their own, use it. If overweight, stare at their protruding stomach, other fat masses, or breasts. Ask if they owned that garment when they were skinnier and tell them you bet they used to look really good in it. Bad compliments do wonders.

If you know their secrets, find a way to "accidentally" slip them into casual conversation in front of them and other peers so they will quit confiding in you (meaningless apology optional).

Whether I feel this way or not I usually say something overly judgmental and right-wing; they have no choice but to be repelled and offended by it, avoiding you altogether. This works especially well in blue states. Make them feel guilty about something and use the word "moral" a lot. Tell them you voted for Bush, how you despise pro-choicers, and how you think homosexuality is a disease. This can all be reversed if the offender is right-wing. I've found this technique doesn't work online. In real life, annoying people fear an unrelenting personality because they can't post anonymous nonsense.

When walking past them, look them up and down with a very confused, unapproving expression. If they ask why you look at them that way, just tell them you don't know what they're talking about and call them silly - all while smirking.

When approached, wrinkle your nose and sniff like something stinks. It helps if you shake your head from side to side afterward. They are caught so off guard and become insecure about their body odor that they forget what they are talking about and let you walk away with ease.

If they are non-smokers, light up when approached outside, during some sort of break, or in a non work-related environment. If you don't smoke and they do, there's an easy out right there. "Excuse me, but I'm allergic to smoke." "Your smoking hurts my lungs."

Laugh frequently when they are talking, especially if the subject is of a serious nature. Now if they're trying to be funny, the remaining silent technique does work quite well. Good suggestion Moe.

There is always honesty:

"I'm really busy."
"I don't benefit from our one-sided conversations."
"Please leave me alone for a long time."

If any of those statements are misconstrued, woe is you.

Last but not least, be somewhat nice about it. Tell them you have been scolded for not doing your job and are on some sort of probation. "I really enjoy our conversations but I just can't seem to get anything accomplished when you're around. Please don't cause me to miss my deadlines and be fired. You've gotten me into trouble before, ya know." Oh, this one's good, "I've got the flu and will be highly contagious for a while (cough or sneeze)".

Hope this helps all of you recovering social push-overs. Now get to work!

I have an extraordinarily annoying “friend” that I just can’t seem to get rid of. She talks almost nonstop about things that rarely make sense. Usually about herself. If she senses that you’re not listening, she’ll apologize. Good right? Wrong! Because her apologizes are her talking nonstop about herself. When trying to have a conversation with someone else while she is in the general vicinity, she interjects something random and meaningless making it impossible to have a conversation with anyone else while she is around. This all wouldn’t be horrific if she wasn’t my neighbor and friends with all of my friends. I have tried being straight forward (“I really want to watch this movie so everyone needs to be quiet.”). To which she replies, “Oh I always try to be quiet during movies. People who talk too much annoy me.” WHAT!?!?!?!? What can I do about this impossible person?

Harvey, i don't know if you will ever read this as you posted back in 2005, but i would just like to say your post realy made me giggle, great stuff, thankyou! Julay i had a friend, yes HAD a friend like yours once. She used to be my best friend at school, she was the new girl and no one else liked her, i thought i should give her a chance and get to know her and maybe she would turn out to be alright, but no. I would talk to her on msn and she would have written 3 paragraphs before you even had the chance to say hi. Always about herself and people id never even heard of. I couldn't take it any longer, especially when she would waffle away when i could have actually done with a 'how are you?' 'are you ok?' Sometimes i think that annoying people are just plain inconsiderate of other peoples feelings. And in the end i just gave up trying to tell her about something i was sad about and that i could have done with some comfort. So i began to say less and less to her until eventually i just stopped reading her messages all together because i couldnt bear the one-sided conversations, this isnt the only time silence has helped me. She still has no idea what shes done wrong but im not going to waste my breath explaining. It must be realy difficult when they live next door to you but if my neighbour was that bad then i would just avoid them at all cost. With this particular girl i arranged my birthday party on the quiet so that i didnt end up having to invite her out of guilt because she found out about it. And if keeping yourself to yourself dosnt work then hopefully she'll move house and you can then just forget to visit her.

I would also like to add another category of annoying person:
This one i call 'Big Brother'. And i would classify most of my flatmates as being guilty of this. These are people who want to know where you are, what you're doing and who you are with every second of the day, just like the tv show big brother. One weekend i caught a train to go and see my boyfriend, no particular plans but i left a note to say i would be back sometime in the next week. I got texts and phone calls wondering exactly what time i would be back and they persisted until i had decided on an exact time. I was so annoyed that i decided that next time i went anywhere i wouldnt say anything at all, not only would this annoy them but it would also give me some privacy. If my mum or boyfriend had asked the same questions i would understand but these are just a random bunch of people i happen to be living with. Also even if i wasnt away, i might be working in my room and one particular flatmate has a habit of barging into my room without knocking. Simple solution, lock yourself in the room. But sometimes i grow weary of having to defend myself against annoying people, i just shouldn't have to. Which is why sometimes telling them you find them an annoying so and so and telling them to naf off is the best way to long term riddance.

people love to say what color is that when ther staring at it!!!!!!!!!that pretty pathetic

i say just make the bitch cry.