Why Does Ashton Kutcher Love MILFs

Demi lookin' like a man.

There has to be some logical reason why Ashton Kutcher's head is stuck far-far up Demi's ass. Does Demi Moore give great oral? Is she a madwoman in bed? Or is Ashton in love with her kids so much that he wants to be with their mother? There has to be something, right? Maybe the reason is far simpler & superficial like possibly it's a trendy thing to be with women 15-20 years your senior?

So what's the connection that binds these two?

Who knows. All I know is that I was at some mall in Atlanta yesterday & saw a huge-ass poster of Ashton holding his hot, co-star Amanda Peet from their upcoming movie, A Lot Like Love. First I felt a little sad that Ashton was missing out on some major Phuntaaay, but then it hit me that Ashton is not a dumbass like most normal guys think he might be for coming home to Demi Moore every night of the week when he could be sleeping around with younger & far sexier Hollywood socialites like J. Alba & Mandy Moore. (And Gloria, yes, that last sentence was a run-on.)

So why is Ashton sexing up Demi Moore?

With Demi by his side, the powerful, Hollywood network is all around him.

Demi is Hollywood Gold, so to speak. Her wrinkled paws are in the pants of every powerful producer & director in the industry, so how the hell can you beat that, right?! Ashton knows this & what's sad is that Demi probably knows that Ashton knows, but neither gives a shit. Ashton reaps great roles & powerful investors for his new restaurants & in exchange, Demi gets to ride Ashton's 27-year old penis. It's kind of like a business transaction that leaves both parties smiling.

It's purely superficial & sexual, my friends. So who's the real genius?! Ashton or Demi? Who knows & who cares.

* Read a super annoying convo between the two lovebirds

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