The Bastardly Evening News - Feb. 21, 2006 - Your Eyes Are Gonna Hurt Edition
Tuesday, February 21st, 2006 after a late four martini lunch by zombiefranz
* I don't know why exactly, but that picture freaks me out and fascinates me at the same time. Maybe it's the fact that Carmen has no damn neck, or that both of their heads look ridiculously huge, or that Carmen looks uncomfortable and unattractive, or that Asslee looks lazy eyed (peep her right eye, it looks like she's staring at someone else with it). Whatever it is, this pic makes me feel like I'm a retard with a shiny quarter. [Yeeeah!]
* Are you ready for the RAW amount of fug in this picture? I haven't even seen with my own eyes yet because 3 of my servants turned to stone after looking at it. From what I understood from the dying screams of my people, the pic has Fergie and Venus Williams chilling together at some event and Venus looks like she's 40 feet tall and weighs 7 tons, while Fergie is rubbing Venus' thigh. Peep it, if you survive, let me know.
[SocialitesLife]
* Ok, os remember the Vanity Fair cover with Scarlett Johansson "nekkid"? People were all talking smack about how Scarlett looked too pasty and how she needed a tan and stuff. Well, looks like she took the advice and got the tan. She looks yellowish and it seems the yellow tan got on her teeth too. I liked her more when she was pasty. [Yeeeah!]
dude, the photographer who took those venus/fergie pics should be fired.
my god.
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What's wrong with being pasty? Now Scarlette looks like Lil' Kim. Terrible.
Know why Chinese people always look younger than they are? Wisdom from Chinese, keep away from the sun and your skin won't age so damn quick.
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seriously people... SEE we all can't fit into one color scheme cause... some of us don't BELONG orange and brown and wrinkley. Im glad she did it cause she proves a point. I hope that tan is gone for the oscars. There is nothing worse than an overly tanned woman in a ball gown. Im not saying dark skin does't look good but if your skin isn't naturally dark and you MAKE It dark... it looks SO bad. Especially in formal wear. YEUCK
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Ashlee Simpson does not look the same- face, body....she's turning into a wannabe Jessica!(she's even standing like Jessica does in pics) Seriously though with the tan and those bleached teeth, the blonde hair...did she have some work done on her face? It looks proportioned differently!
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Here are some pics I found that show that either she lost weight and that's why she looks different or it's because she got some work done...the tan looks good on her though I have to say.
http://www.instashare.com/image.php?157557805
http://www.instashare.com/image.php?748022057
maybe she just lost all the baby fat in her face?? Or not, Her "butt" chin isn't as noticable now and the bump on her nose is gone too(after looking at other side shots of her).
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Holy crap! I feel like I am on drugs when I look at that picture!
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why in the world can't the celebrities figure out that fake tan in a bottle shit looks disgusting?
who the hell looks good in that shit?
i am talking to you, v beckham, lohag, and now, my beloved scarlett.
boo! boo!
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The problem with Scarlet's tan is that she looks all red and shiny; the darker skin is not the cuprit. Anyway, Ashlee definitely had work done, she looks *too* different. That pic is all around weird looking.
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In this picture Carmen reminds me of a barbie doll that has had it's head torn off to the point of not being able to be fixed so the kid just pushed it back on all the way to the shoulders so it will stay. The worst case of "Unfixable Barbie Head" I have ever seen on a live individual is that of the lead singer of the Dixie Chicks. What the hell is her name? I just always call her no neck. She is fucked up looking! Like someone dropped a fucking boulder on the top of head.
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What the eff happened to Ashley?
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Anyone notice how Scarlet's two front teeth are 40x whiter than the rest of her teeth? Strange...
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Bad colour balancing on the photo of Johannson.
Can't be helped when she's that close to the flash I guess.
That's the reason her two front teeth look whiter. Just first to get the flash.
Well - I must say though, those other pictures are bizarre. It's like they took a wide-angled lens and tried to take close up shots. Freaky.
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Why did Scarlett have to fall victim to that terrible trend. I had given her more credit than that, but I was obviously wrong.
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Man I must be drunk or something but i dont see shit wrong with this picture. And yeah Ashlee did get some work done cuz she used to look like a dude in the face. Bitch used to look like Sean Penn.
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Stars get fake tans people because TANNING IS HORRIBLE FOR YOU. and in 15 years we'd be beating them up for being wrinkled and or having work done. Stars know how to take care of their skin. Lindsay lohan and Jessica simpson i know lay out and im like LINDSAY you're gonna die of skin cancer .... red heads seriously CAN NOT burn too much or they WILL get cancer. (I know being a light red head myself)
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I'd rather be my natural color than orange....I don't care if fake tanning saves your skin. You end up looking orangey and it doesn't even last that long anyways. I'm all for reasonable tanning in the sun or in the booth. Just to get a nice all-over bronzey tan and then I stop for months at a time. I don't go all year round. Besides, going tanning(me being out in the sun too) makes my skin clearer and looks healthier!
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Ashley looks really thin too.
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The pic of Carmen's head makes me feel like I'm on shrooms. What is with these bleached blonde white women and orange tans?! You look terrible! Your hair should NOT be lighter than your face and your skin should NOT look like Bugs Bunny's dinner!
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the first carmen electra pic: Carmen still looks ok, since she's standing next to what I would probably mistake for a homeless retard and throw 25 cents at (Asslee). But seriously? Who took that pic? It looks like their heads are twice the size they should be.
the second pics with venus and fergie: It simply looks like two transvestites rubbing on each other. Could Fergie be a lesbian? Or, more likely, a man?
the third pic with Scarlett: She looks better then on the Vanity Fair cover. I think she should get a REAL tan not a fake one. She has money, she can go to Hawaii. Still I will forget her face after a few minutes.
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Pottymouth,
So true and too funny!
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oh and the reason why Carmen has "no neck" is because her fake boobs are jacked up so high. That and her hair and head are in a quite awkward pose. But yeah, the boobs are to blame 99%.
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