Christina Aguilera & Her Pet Monkey @ Maxim 100th Issue Party in Las Vegas
Monday, April 10th, 2006 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe

Jordan Bratman looks as if he's taking his daughter out to some amusement park. I think the withstands the bullshit that comes w/ fame by being fully content w/ the fact that once he's behind closed doors w/ Christina, she's all his.
Once again, we're proud of the bastard as he fully confirms that all you need to play in the big leagues is money & a little power (which, of course, comes w/ money). Rock on, dude!!
Related in a Scandalous way:
- Bastardly Breaking News!! Christina Aguilera Took Her Pet Monkey to Eat @ Georgio Balbi Restaurant in LA
- Christina Aguilera's Monkey Turns 30!! Aaaaw! How Cute!
- Christina Aguilera Walking Her Pet Monkey in NYC Again
- Bastardly Breaking News!! Christina Aguilera Takes Her Monkey for a Walk!
- Pregnant Christina Aguilera Takes Monkey For a Walk
























X-Tina looks nice in pick No 1...But that average looking jewish guy is under the question! WHY she chose him???????????????? He is such a second-rater!!!!!! I DON`T UNDERSTAND THAT GIRL!!!!
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I'm feeling claustrophobic. His nose and ears are closing in on me. This is nightmare material...
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Wow. Her implants look horrible. Did she get bigger ones? or is it just the weightloss that makes them look so much more... ... implanty. I dunno.
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It doesn't look like she's using him as an accesory .. they way she fawns on him its like she wants to be his not the other way around. I think they probably have a pretty good relationship. She seems happy. ITs better than going all K-Fed.
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he's loaded too. not that she needs the money. which leads me to think....maybe he's got a huge cock.
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I think she's looking sexy as hell.
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mMM look at that calf muscle, she must work out. I wouldn't mind deep frying that shit in some KFC breading. I wonder if she tortures her calf's as KFC tortures chickens? Anyways, if I saw her I would drop down to my knees and bite a chunk out of those meaty wings. I dont even need barbecue sauce. All I gots to do is poke my finger in her butt and her cunt drips like a water faucet all down her legs onto my meal. Don't even get me started on them titays. She looks so fucking hot she makes me hungry and wet.
Makin Moves...
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hes a Jew, he CANT have a huge cock...its against human genetics.
its like DJ Am, while Xtina is better looking that Nicole, how the fuck did EITHER of them wind up dating who they are?
hey yall, im ugly, fat, with a small penis, which holywood ho can I get a date with?
ill even take Haylie Duff if she redyed her hair blonde.
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post #9 should say *note*
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She look gorgeous here!!!
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Hollywood is full of ugly Jewish guys with hot girls, actually so is New York, its not unusual. I myself have gone the way of God's Chosen people and there are some well endowed ones, well at least one well endowed one, then again his mom is the Jewish one and his father is Protestant. The other one did have a small weiner, but he was 5 feet tall.
Okay, maybe Jordan and AM are "cunning linguists" and have access to good blow?
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nevermind the guy... at least we know he makes money and he actually bought the ring for her, but lets just focus on Christina here... i dunno but shes looking gorgeous lately... she looks beautiful in hi-def, unlike other pop stars. Shes hot!
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She's nuclear orange. She needs to lay off the tanner.
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K-Fed's song popozao is a rip off of a brazilian song named the same. Popozao in portuguese means huge ass. Maybe it's about Britney and her close relationship with hamburguers
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Guys. Xtina's miniature in the first place. Now look at hubby and note how he's remarkably matched to her in proportion.
Guys. These are TWO of the SHRIMPIEST HUMAN BEINGS on the planet!!! And you know what I think about little SHRIMPY PEOPLE...
I hate climbing into their Benz's after one of them's been driving! And I don't like how I sometimes can't see them in my peripheral view -- because they're so LITTLE. And then they sneak up on me and scare me!
But they'd be handy: I'd place them both on top of my refrigterator with a dust rag and tell them to wipe it all clean for me. Then I'd take off their little shoes and their little socks...then I'd pin each them with my thumb...and then I'd TICKLE 'em and TICKLE 'em! So I could hear their TINY LITTLE SQUEAKY voices when they giggle and laugh! Then when I'm finished? I'd put them away in my pocket! But first...I'd give each of them a little bit of CHEESE to nibble on... I'd put X-tina in a THIMBLE and I'd put Jordan in a MATCHBOX. And then I'd tell them "Good Night."
Then I'd accidentally step on them.
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yall, that shit above, the post above this one, is one of the 5 funniest things ive read since coming on here....
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For the comments that were nice, you guys are happy people like me. :D
But as for the others, how sad. You all need to get a life, LMFAO!
Dunno if it's sexual deprivation or/and lack of experiencing what true love is... but I hope you guys find what you're obviously "needing", hahaha!
Bye Bye !
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I don't care what anyone of you thinks Christina Aguilera is the total package! A lot of women tend to criticize her because they are jealous and have nothing that she has! Lets start w/ the voice, the girl can sing! Next her looks, She is fearless and that makes her sexy! Her body is hot, and the girl on here that said her implants look disgusting is on crack, you can't even see them in these pix and who is to say she has implants? Haven't you heard of a push up bra? And leave Jordan alone, remember he has one thing you all don't and that is Christina so shut the fuck up!
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Omg iv read all the nasty comments!! GET A GRIP..she's clearly a beautiful lookin girl!! and so what if she wears makeup.. u shudnt hav to worry about it it's on her face not FUCKIN URS!! and actually if u look close she's not wearin much it's just cos she's wearin red lipstick that it stands out!! and sum1 sed on another comment DRAG QUEEN oooh pls since when did u see drag queens lookin gd.. drag queens try to impersinate ppl like Christina because they r sooo Glamourous..so take ur jealousy and ur problems and look in a mirror and start workin on urself!! then get bak to christina and comment
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Shit that guy is so damned ugly. I think she will wake up, look at this ugly son of a bitch next to her, and realize she has spanked that monkey one too many times.
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he is ugly that's true but how do you think that she looks in the morning without any make-up? she is a fade blonde , ugly duck!
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maybe he fucks her with his nose .....
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This guy jordan is sooooooo ugly! oh my god look at his face,i can't figure out what xtina likes in him, money? Or the fact that he's so ugly and can't be unfaithful?
And xtina is too much, i mean look at her tone skin,her face, and her boobs she's totally FAKE! That makes me sick
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AnnClaire, so you don't think it would be romantic to have your hubby sing Popozao to you before the two of you got busy? I would....................... *please not sarcasm*
I hate K-Fed
Popo in German means butt...............
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and the word zao alone makes me think of Tzar, so K-Fed is a Butt Tzar, which to me implies that he really swings for the same team.
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lucky couple!
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How the fuck does a dude that looks like that get such a woman? What the hell am i doing wrong! She is so gorgeous!
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im all for ''Regular'' guys getting with Hot chicks, but this is just ''SILLY'', you mean to tell me that ANY of us Bastards could have banged this chick if we were just in the right place at the right time.
Unbelievable.
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