Bastardly Ass Rating: Jessica Biel & her Ass @ The Illusionist Premiere

It's a combination of the white dress and the high heels. I don't know about the buttaface thing - some pictures are better than others.

All together now - "I - like - her - buttandIcannotlie..."

To carry on the path that John has led us down:
http://www.boingboing.net/2006/04/11/math_equation_for_a_.html

mmm edward norton...

This chick has an A+ for ass and an F- for fucken hair. What's the point of wearing a beautiful dress only to put your hair up into a bird nest.....Also, notice on page 1 she has some varicose veins in her titties....

She actually is a bit too made up. She looks better with less makeup on. The hair agreeably is a mess, however, the body is insane. That ass is tight and she works it hard. I give her a B+

senin
It’s a combination of the white dress and the high heels. I don’t know about the buttaface thing - some pictures are better than others.

i agree, i think her body is awesome! i dont know about a buttaface tho, shes got great eyes.

DonkeyCock

This chick has an A+ for ass and an F- for fucken hair.
-- well, im laughing with gauze in my mouth, i had a tooth at 10 this morning :( it totally sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!
donkey and senin, BONG HITS for us!!!!!! wait, will i get a dry socket? i already killed a blunt...... ;)

Donkeycock, every woman has veins on her breasts, it's just more visible in some women than others if they have more pale skin. Also, they're not vericose veins...jeez men expect women to be goddamn flawless.

What an ASS....
She must be in the Top 5 of gr8 asses.
Also in the TOP5: J-Lo, Beyonce, Shakira...you can fill the 4th in yourself with a contender that you fancy.

YJJ: A spliff would probably be better than a bong hit. Too much pressure on the socket. Be good and feel better.

An object of beauty.

WHAT HAIR? WID AN ARSE LIKE DAT WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT HAIR???

I agree with Ferinal, she looks better with less make up.

Her body is so amazing. I want a body like that, too bad I'm way too lazy. ;)

very athletic...squared shoulders, nice round tits, thick thighs and lots of booty...she's more of a sprinter than a long distance runner. Very Nice!

HEY #10 - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? THAT'S MY ID FOOOO!

jessica beil is pure unrelenting hotness. someone needs to send her to save nichole richie

She does haev an ass taht fits that dress. Look at her in this bikini shot
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/photo.php?id=jessica_biel_bikini_red_2_big&...

Biel's ass is the truth...im willin to give anythin for ma..my girl and the rest of my squad, my 87 datsun color of fun passes, my left testi, and my supreme collection of midget porn.

The hell with the dress. I want her bent over the couch. Hell, I would go out and buy a new couch for her. She is HOT!

Beautiful JB..One day this girl is goofing off in holey jeans and a tank top and the next she's radiant in an elegant evening gown...
Like the tousled, disheveled, messy hair-do too. It's fun, young and not severe looking

Wow! Her ass can barely fit in the same frame as the rest of her body in some of these shots.

Also, I want to take the opportunity to support a woman with a healthy, fit body as opposed to the anorexics or the unnaturally large breasted.

More power to you, Jessica!

I agree 100% with the whole premise. I always thought her face was really nothin' to write home about, but she has pretty much the BEST body on the planet. I thought the one woman who could compete with her figure was Britney Spears, but that was a long, long time ago. And the ass--well, needless to say it's very impressive, especially for a white woman. Overall, this honey probably rates an A-.

Thick ass, firm tits, toned body...ain't nothing wrong here.

love her! great role-model for girls with bootys!

IT IS SO OBVIOUS THOSE ARE BUTT IMPLANTS WHICH IS "PLAIN OL' BULLSHIT!"
IT'S REALLY FILTHY, REALLY, REALLY FILTHY!

I love her shape. Very womanly.

Uh huh, oh yeah, ummm Jessica, ahhh haaa, ohh here goes.... mmmmm

Sorry, I got distracted for a moment. Why is the mouse stuck to my hand?

Jeez, she's always been hot and now is maturing into a fine built voluptuous woman. If you don't like the hair, then take out the pins and enjoy her finer attributes.

That's just too fucking big.

[...] Jessica Biel’s ass caused such commotion at The Illusionist premiere that how could it not have when she arrived for the taping of the Late Show. All those lunges and ninja kicks are doing wonders for Jessica! Keep on doing you, baby!!! [...]

she's my body role model. i'm almost there.....

Ladies....Great and all she is your role model for a big booty, but the difference is she does NOT have a FAT ASS. Huge difference here, like a dude with man boobs saying that Triple H is his role model because he has a big chest. Biel's ass is firm as all hell, damn, did you all forget the weeks of photos posted here showing her doing her outdoor lunges/yoga/weight resistance/jogs?

her body rocks, wasnt she voted "sexiest woman alive" by maxim or something? i know she did some charity thing where someone paied like, $30K for a date with her. i forget which magazine it was, but theyve got really great taste. i read about it somewhere, i think the person who donated the $$ was some tobacco ceo or something. and NO that does NOT make her a slut!!!

whoa. dat ass is a great ass. she got dat big ass. i like it man. the rest of her aint
too bad ya know

big phat\tight\sexy white ass!
a black mans dream!

hummmm bootylisious that is..............like to have with that ass.

Body: A

Face: C, at best. She just isn't a stunner.

Check her ass out here:
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=2036

i wanna fuck her

Jessica's ass is voluptuous; if she were my girlfriend, I'd spank her first, then take her from behind. I get the feeling she loves having a big tush and wants to show it off at every opportunity, same as Cindy Crawford, who I think had more "rear" shots taken than any supermodel before or since and reinvented the beauty of fanny cleavage. Let's face it, thanks to JLo, Beyonce, and Cindy, this is a retro era (reminiscent of the 50's and 60's) where an ample derriere is once again enviable.

Look, its Helen of Troy! Lets go to war!

buttaface

Jessica Biel's huge tush is definitely the "real" thing; it's too bad we can't appreciate a gorgeous ass on a white chick, but have we forgotten Barbara Eden, Raquel Welch, and of course Marilyn Monroe? No one with a fake bottom would do as much to flaunt it as Jessica does ------ she practically begs you to reach out and fondle it.

when Plato saw the "Ideal Ass" in his mind he saw this

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/entertainment/2006-07/20/xin_40070320141017...

Where have you guys been? Jessica Biel's ass is top-notch!

I'd lick her right where she shits!

she's been hot, since 7th heaven... and smoking since blade iii. i swear this is one of the few caucasoids with a chance in hell; eau de natural!

INCREDIBLE!!!

Im not going along with the "buttafaces" thing at all... great ass

perfect ass

perfect

i love her, I love white girls with the badunk-a-dunk butt

Jessicas got a fantastic ass I hope she recovers these super high levels of hotness again soon