The Abi Titmuss guide to becoming a celebrity in easy steps part 1
Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by abi
In 2001 I was a 25 year old Nurse. Now I am a celebrity. In the last 5 years I have gone from being completely unknown to being famous for being famous. People visit my website totallytitmuss.com and download sex videos of me having a fantastic time with my friends. I'm having a great time! I was even recently voted the 4th most irrelevant celebrity. Its much more fun than being a nurse!
Although I didn't set out to become a celebrity I believe that anyone can achieve celebrity status by following a few simple steps, the first of which I'm going to share with to you today.
cant wait for more!
fair warning though...prepare to be flamed. welcome the the bastardly!
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Date someone who is on a one way ticket to nowhereland in order to become an irrelevant celebrity? That's deep.
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you gave up a career helping people to become the next paris hilton...
wow. that makes me proud to be an american
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GET THIS FUCKING STUPID KUNT WHORE OF THIS SITE.
DONT RUIN THE BASTARDLY WITH THIS LAME FUCKING DRIVEL.
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The_Wanker - what an apt name.
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verbal, I thought that she WAS the ideal woman (according to the horndogs here at the Bastardly), but........ I would take the degree, sense of self-worth from helping others, and preserved respect over the so-called "fame" ANYDAY.
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Dumb post by a dumb bitch: not very bastardly... But I guess that I would let her write in my blog too if that could help me get in her pants.
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Wow talk about the American spirit. "Yeah guys just fuck a nobody and anyone else that has anything to do with TV and you can be like me...a whore who no one cares about. Sure I am like a totally ordinary blonde chick who fucks anything with a bank account, but I have skillz damnit!! Nun chuck skillz... bo-staff skillz....oral sex skillz...."
Uh yeah, I don’t need pointers on how to be a whore. I already have a promising career that involves slapping common sense to the tards that post redicouls comments on this site.
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I can't wait for Part 2:
How to blow everyone in Hollywood and then blackmail them into promoting your irrelevant celebrity status.
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american spirit? she's british...
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Coffee is good, and sometimes I like to drink my coffee while I eat eggs and bacon in the morning. MMMM, eggs and bacon. Pancakes are good as well, I just don't always feel like eating pancakes. Don't want all that starch. hehehe. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I also like potatoes. Gotta have spuds, or else I might throw a big tantrum, and shit my pants. And then, I would have to masturbate because the eggs turned me on so hard, and the coffee got me all going and whatnot...... blah, blah, blah, blah........
Yeah okay, abi. Your column bites dick, and seems like it was written in about a minute. Who the fuck needs advice on how to become a bottomfeeding celebrity? I sure as fuck don't. But, I am sure there are people already taking notes like your shit was gospel..... What we need are more scantily clad pics of you in suggestive poses. Please though...... Can you keep your trap shut.... I'm trying to watch football.
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yes yes, and she can bring her lady friend....
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Wow nice rack Abi! I would love to have motorboat time with you, knock my ass out. Wanktackular!
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at least she's being honest about being a star-fucker...I bet her parents are really proud of her...and as for being a former nurse...I think people are better off now that she's not a nurse...she'll be on Dr. 90210 when she's 40 trying to get shit done for free becuase she was famous once...
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So if sleeping around and being good looking works for women to become famous, how are men supposed to do it?? Also how do you land these famous people to date them, its not like they are just going to say, ok i'll date you, do they?? So really there's a lot more going on here. I'm male, so how would i go about doing this then Abi?? Doesn't really makes sendse to me!! But can't wait 2 read you blogs!! N answers!!
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Exactly, tuxman. Abi is a dumbfuck who is good for one thing, and one thing only......
And we all know what that is...
Cooking my dinner.
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no thanks.
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who the fuck is Abi Titmuss? and why is she trying to further ruin an entire generation of females by teaching them that the secret to success is luck and whorish behavior? don't we have enough batshit crazy females in this world without ugly sluts telling them that they can be famous "if they want it bad enough"? learn to have a little shame you worthless twat.
this is why it is officially alright to punch women like this in the face. as many times as you feel necessary.
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From the Wiki: She made her West End acting debut in March 2006, playing a prostitute with a multiple personality disorder in a play by Arthur Miller to generally mediocre reviews.
Guess it was a "reach" for her?
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dudes just need money. the more the better, of course.
penis size is also irrelevant. haha
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Fuck You Moe.
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ew this dumb bitch looks like ashlee simpson to me
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well, everyone's entitled to their opinions.... personally, it's not my thing, but it's hers. at least she's not killing anyone. i think.. 8-)
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What does your mum think of your nudie photos?
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Sometimes, reading Big Papi's comments, We get the feeling that he is in fact, Wiseman's Alter Ego.
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What can I say....Abi is one hot wannabe celeb SLUUUUT!
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looks like someone shit on her face.
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hmmm...................................I take it this sub-human is Jewish?
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Ugly face.
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#8 verbal
You think too much.
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When is part 2 coming out Abi?
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looking forward to future abi posts...and hoping for more sex tapes too.. :)
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[...] Visit original post by Abi Titmuss « Quickies: It’sa Bird, It’sa Plane | Shanna Moakler calls the cops » [...]
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She's beautiful you are all crazy!!!
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Cleveland Steamer.
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no thanks, I'll pass.......
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Yes yes..............I wouldnt mind seeing if Abi Titmuss lives up to her name.
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i'm sure she's a lot more successful now that she's NOT a nurse. i like that she's not misrepresenting herself by trying to fit everyone's "ideal image" of what a woman is "supposed" to be. i believe there's more to her than porn flicks.... there's talent.
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Oh and furthermore, what is with Brit slang?! It's gotta be the worst shit I have ever heard. "I hope the lads fancy me again.." Okay, fancy and lad should never be used in a sentence by anyone ever again. The same goes for bollocks. What lame-o slang y'all have.
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dammit, my instant erection knocked my computer off my lap again.
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OUTLINE ON HOW TO BECOME A CELEBRITY, PART I
1. Date someone rich & famous. Have sex w/ them. Many times.
2. In the process of dating & having sex w/ someone rich & famous, make a sex tape. Store sex tape for future use.
3. Hope for tragedy, b/c tragedy = media's attention = fame.
4. Capitalize on every possible opporunity!
I thought becoming a celebrity would AAAT LEAST be a 5 step process, but oh no, my superficial friends, Abi has cracked the code & selling a product that guarnatees it in only 4 steps!!
More craziness @ http://www.totallytitmuss.com
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aaw, how kind of you, The Wanker!
Now go wank to Abi's photos & release some of that tension. hah
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