Bastardly Lady of the Day - Laura

Oh sweet Jesus, no! My day is ruined.

This dude's beer gut is annoying. And when did he start dating Tracy Chapman?

Speechless...

"Aren’t you HAPPY it’s not a blonde bimbo with fake ZZ’s and a ridiculously exaggerated tan with pouty ass lips?..huh?".....Um, frankly, no! There is enough of "u" in fugly to qualify you as major butta. Get thee to Sephora immediately!

Still shocked. But wonder if she'll smoke some crack with me.

I always wonder why these BLOTD work so hard on their answers. For the bastardly community of horn dogs, the simple answers would suffice.

Perfect 10 BLOTD writes:
[My backdoor is open.]

Which female celebrity would you go lesbian for?
[Abi Titmuss because her rear entry probably smells like sweet tangy roses.]

Do you like your boobs?
[Yes, they feel good when they slap me in the face as you are taking care of the backyard.]

Would you sleep with a dude the age of your grandpa for $3,000,000?
[Only if he (and Viagra) can reach my backdoor. Plus, necrophillia is always fun.]

Have people (guys) ever said you look like a particular celebrity (…to try get in your pants)?
[All the time. They slap me in the ass and say, "give me some J-Lo."]

What makes you Bastardly?
[My backdoor.]

Has anyone seen the ad below of a red Tickle Me Elmo on his back humping air? That's some nasty shit for a Children's ad.

Swoop, you need a spyware and adware scan, stat.

Cocaine is helluva drug! Get help girl!

This 'chick' looks half dead. This is one broad who could do with a makeover by a builder. In the last picture she looks like she's auditioning for the ring 3. It never fails to astonish us here in the lab just how many of these girls actually think that they look good(and these must be her best pictures). They need some delusional shock therapy. She must be commended on part of her plan for she does indeed look better in the pictures taken with Whoopi Chapman.
Now that game plan defines BASTARDLY!!!

hahahaaa....John, you're my hero

I sure this girl has a nice personality and makes all her own clothes... 'cause otherwise she is a car wreck

Has anyone noticed in photo #3 the mime with the brown nose in the background. I guess the backdoor is open for business.

Okay Chica - I'll help you out here:
"Bastard" according to Merriam Webster:
an offensive or disagreeable person -- used as a generalized term of abuse b : MAN, FELLOW
- bas·tard·ly adjective
Now return the favor by placing a bag over your head.
That is what is known as a bastardly comment.

Then I guess all the ladies of teh day who you find ugyl are truly bastardly. The mysteries of the universe have been solved please return to your desks.

jeeze, I don't think she looks that bad. She's got nice cheekbones and good lips.

yech

HOLY ROADKILL

this chick is SO ugly! Get a bag on her face like NOW

her friend is hot though.

Body/titties = not bad
Face = needs some help

I have no fuckin clue which way to go with this. Good god woman could you have given us any more ammunition. You loaded up both barrels and gave us the shotgun.

She actually looks like she could be one of those unique models who look good when they are all done up for a shoot but also look scary as hell when they are not, like Tyra banks, she is scarier than Rush Limbaugh naked.

you are ugly. plain and simple. you are very ugly and you look on the verge of death.

well... she does have a nice body but she looks rather... sickly.

It's almost like she spent her free time getting beat in the face with a grouper while on the raft ride over from Dominica.

Moe, I noticed you have Bastardly T-Shirts on sale in your store. You know what would sell better than those? Butta Bags. Bastardly Butta Bags. BBB's would be snapped up like crazy. You could sell them for $4 a bag and it would cost you like 1/2 cent to make in some Cambodian sweatshop. Of course, be sure to make them two-ply. Wouldn't want them to break during the old nasty.

Moe, shouldn't you have a Bastardly Lady of the Day Challenge of Champions? Just like a Jeopardy face off of old champions. You can have the first annual Bastardly Lady of the Year. Two categories: 1) Grade AAA Filet Mignon and 2) Bitch. Cover both end of the spectrum.

Damn, did you just wake up one day and decide to send in your pictures?? If you're going to take pictures, could you put on just a little fuckin makeup? I mean, gotdamn, is it too much to ask to put a little fuckin effort into this shit? I'm tired of these bitches rolling out of bed and just decide to snap and send in their fuckin pictures!

hahaha

oh my god. i'll look it to it. I'm sure there's some company that makes customized brown bags.

sunken face, monster forehead, stupid expressions... and you had a pouty lip pic after ragging on other BLOTD's.

I would say that you are truly Bastardly, but for all the wrong reasons, like sending in these horrid pics.

New category: BMOTD - Bastardly Man of the Day

ok, enough with the jokes. really now.... where's the BLOTD?

Ugly, manly, disproportionate. Now hand me the BBB so I can puke in it.

I like your answers Laura

You need a little makeup (done right) and you'd look nice

...Speechless....at least she's better than that fat chick that was BLOD friday. Um, well to impress the bastardly society you need a new wardrobe, more makeup, to moisturize your hair, show boobs and ass more...then you would probably be happier with the comments.

Slutty, ugly & stupid is no way to go through life sweetheart

i am speechless.... cute friend though.......

LOL Moe,

U could just buy a bunch of brown bags like the ones they give at the liquor store, and put a Bastardly ink Stamp on it on the front, and in the back of the bag it should say:

Caution " Test it on your 40oz, before using it on your ugly bitch. We recommand that you drink the whole bottle to the point where you won't remember anything tomorow."

lol

I'd love to say 'nice tits' except that I've just vomited in my mouth after looking at her nauseating face.

woW! Well, it IS Halloween and She IS pulling off the Vampire look or maybe she's a Zombie. Anywhore, she does a good job of playing dead. Also, I would not be able to pull a "Sexy" pose if I had a frickin' homeless looking mime behind me. But that's just me.

You have the potential to be pretty. You just need some make-up.

Oh, and you did make a wonky pouty face.

hideous. absolutley hideous. i feel sick

Hey Moe, I got my first copy of photoshop. I may try my hand at beautifying Laura here. My goal is making her look better than Abi Titmuss.

I wonder why these girls send in pics! Even if you live a natural, beach-type existence. Either this BLOD is ill or she needs to spend some serious time in the sun or wear makeup...no eyebrows, no eyelashes, makeup to make her eyes look bigger, her mouth needs color etc...she does have potential but doesn't appear to care to make the most of what she has...some women just have no natural color in their face or dark circles around their eyes...not attractive!

angelfood...that was too nice, really LOOK AT HER SKIN URGHHH!!!!

Laura,Laura Laura, does that rhyme with horror. It's halloween she'll take her mask off tomorrow, it will all be better. IT'S NOT A MASK!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE,SAVE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN & COVER YOURSELVES WITH HOT BUTTER TO REPELL HER. Sorry I went off there , she's OK I guess. Or is she, moooohahaha,moooohhaaaahhhaaa.

She is definitely not ugly, she just doesn't have pounds of make up on. She's cute, very natural looking.

this is a woman that could benefit from a little make-up. just to even out her skin tone and emphasize her eyes.

she could be pretty if she looked healthier...by healthier i mean not so dead or old looking....alot of potential. wear makeup!

This girl is really beautiful. She has a rockin' body and great features. She's just not wearing a ton of make-up--that's why all of you horn dogs had a bad reaction. She looks as though she has a very coy, charismic personality. Keep is up, cutie!

Hanna says:
"All these guys here are so stupid that they need a women to ahve like a glowing face with tons of makeup to see the beauty. With some makeup though you have the potential to look absolutely stunning. Nice pictures!"

You contradict yourself in 2 sentences! Rarely do I see that...geez! I didn't say she needed tons of makeup I said she should accent what she had...she does have small eyes...makeup will open them, make them appear larger...she has plucked the shit outta her eyebrows and she needs to fill them in...she needs to even out her facial tones...That is the problem...you make some decent, well meaning comments about a using a little makeup and people immediately think that means gobbing it on so you can't see the beauty beneath..guys here don't like a mask of makeup but they don't like ladies that look like death warmed over either...that is all anyone is saying... if you are going to post your pics all over the internet...why not do it at your best?

Well said Angelfood.

well........ I would give her a good ride

what the fuck? who the hell aproves these fuckin things? i just lost a perfectly good boner, fuck you and go back to your crack whore infested grave bitch!

key words on her t-shirt: RIGHT NOW.

FUCK im got scared when i saw that shit, but shes not hideous, if she did her hair got a tan and wore a shit load of makeup eyeliner etc she could b hot,, and oh stop with the facial expressions my god page 2 pic 4 is still embedded in my brain

Her boobs could be a little "smaller?" Huh? I've seen actual insect bites bigger than what she calls her boobs.

OMFG...c'mon now, laura...i'm about as open-minded as they come, racially speaking, when speaking about any woman's desirability, but baby,sugar plum...YOU IS TORE THE FUCK UP(grammar intended for those of you not familiar w/U.S. slang)...i mean crack-addicted whores w/visible herpes chancres laugh at you & this PATHETIC pictorial...BEGONE...ya blank-expressioned skeezer...YOUR SHIT IS WEAK(more U.S. slang)...

Ugh, damn i sick and tired of these hoes who think they're "natural beauties" and think they can get away with no make up shit, i got 2 words for you girl concealer and fucking eye brow pencil haha wait that was more than two, I'm sorry I dunno about u but if I was a guy I do not wanna be bangin some chick with no eyebrows bitch looks rough!

She is OK but would be better off with makeup. I worked as a make-up artist and having seen many models before/after I can tell she's a good material. Not to be mistaken.. she DOES need some work b-fore posting pix in public ;)

LOL @ #67! fucking hilarious!

would it hurt to put a little mascara/eyeliner?? --- ps. how cute is your little friend!! :o)

lol .. well.. I commend her confidence.

" Has anyone seen the ad below of a red Tickle Me Elmo on his back humping air? That’s some nasty shit for a Children’s ad. "

No. Wish it was still there. =(

just booooooring baby.....every woman out there is more latina-looking than you!

PLEASE !!!! PLEASE TAKE A SHOWER !!!! THATS ABSOLUTELY ANTI-HYGENIC !!!!!!!

I would rest my balls on her forehead to moisturize them.

Or the ad to the right that says, "Hit the Monkey and win a PS3"

I have. I think you guys owe me about 10 PS3's today.

total buttaface but nice rack

She just made the top of my 5 ugliest....try a half gallon of makeup or just turn around and I'll get u from behind....no shit, paper AND plastic!

two words:

crack whore.

You guys gotta admit, she's not that much worse than Brooke Hogan, Kate Winslet or Victoria Beckham. And she'd probably share some of her crack with you (both cracks).

I would definitely not go lesbian for you... Said..

while most BLOTDs could definitely benefit from taking off a few layers of make-up, i feel like you could do well if you put a little bit on... your skin tone makes you look extremely washed out... in some pictures your eyebrows look non-existent. i think you have potential to be good-looking, you just need to get 1) less arrogant and 2) more realistic about what you look like. so put on some make-up and stop posing like you're extremely sexy and you'll be better off.
also, i never understand why people have t-shirts like on your first page. just seems so... tacky.

All the last comments are true that see your beauty. U are beautiful, and im a model and my cousin that is seeing you now here is a photogroper in Ireland and he can clearly see that you are beutiful 2. All these guys here are so stupid that they need a women to ahve like a glowing face with tons of makeup to see the beauty. With some makeup though you have the potential to look absolutely stunning. Nice pictures!

"The fact that I have NO idea what the FUCK bastardly means."

well stupid isn't bastardly

Is that a he/she?....looks like a sex change gone terribly wrong.....Dude looks like a lady!

Shouldn't there be a bastardly committee or commission set up to evaluate BLOTD before they are selected? Shouldn't there be a commission on what type of soft-core porn ads to show?

Btw, Moe. I clicked on your "About the Bastardly Writers" link, and it is blank. What are you guys hiding? I'm shocked that Moe and Jackson may not be your true mild manner identities!

... Manly... You make Dominicans look bad...

Then again your shirt did say "HOT... right now" I guess they're having a shortage if that's the best they can produce... I guess it's time to start the Bi-Racial program