Ted Haggard Claims He's No Longer Gay
Wednesday, February 7th, 2007 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
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Wait, so now it's possible for homosexuals to become heterosexuals by going through some intensive counseling? What the fuck?
One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."
Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.
"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."
"If we're going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly," he said. "We're into this thing over 90 days and it hasn't happened." [CNN]
Who the hell were the four ministers who oversaw the intensive counseling? Porn stars? Colombian prostitutes?
W/ that in hand, let's analyze this a little further w/ a couple useless Bastardly Polls...
first off if you are a dude
and you have consensual sexual contact with another dude
you are gay
period
no way this guy is ever going to be
"completely heterosexual"
actions in this case speak louder than words
and getting a naked massage from a male prostitute says gay
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I went through a three week intensive counseling session once and now I believe that I am 100% platypus. All you skeptics can keep your opinions and "facts" and "empirical data" to yourselves. I believe it to be true and you can't convince me otherwise no matter how much evidence you produce. I'm a platypus! A platypus, I tell you!
Still gay, though.
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WTF? This is pure BS.
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i'm sure the intensive therapy included lots of crisco, dildos and transvestites as well.
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Wow! After 50 years as an "incomplete" heterosexual all it takes it three weeks to straighten you out (pun intend)!! That's amazing. Why didn't he think of this sooner?
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I don't see how finding a man and paying him money to rub you down and suck your cock makes you gay. At least if you didn't tip, if you don't tip your not gay.
I know women that sware up and down that they're gay when in reality their just posers. Posers willing to eat pussy just to prove me wrong but still, you know they just want the attention, posers. They get back to cock as soon as they realize the soft touching doesn't do it for them.
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#5, are those poseurs just women who won't have sex with you?
well, i think it all depends on what you mean by completely heterosexual. if he's having his wife wear a fake beard, tape down her boobs and wear a strap-on, isn't he technically still having sex with a woman? what exactly did he do with male prostitute? who did what? the use of "sex" instead of "bj" implies there was some butt action going on.
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why are christians so obsessed with sex, gender and genitals.. it seems that blaming gays and lesbians is like almost a passtime and obsession for many christians. Don't they ever worry about the real problems of the world, like hunger, poverty, war, disease , famine?
The bible is replete with admonishment about the sins of heterosexuals..in fact in old testamental times fornication and adultery was punishable by death...maybe we should reinstitute the death penalty for straight adulterers and fornicators --- hmmm stoning seems like an exciting sport - just ask the muslims where stoning of adulterers is still a rather exciting public entertainment ( i think i'm gonna throw up ).
christians used to demonize jews for centuries as jesus-killers and this embolden many ordinary germans to persecute jews leading to the holocaust. Similarly centuries of demonizing and denigration of gays and lesbians and sexual minorities have embolden otherwise morally bankrupt heterosexuals to discriminate and do violence to sexual minorities. This has got to stop. Christians are deluding themselves, if they really want to obey Christ then love God with all yr heart and immediately love your neighbour as yourself ..be they gay or straight. If you cannot practise this most important of all the commandments then you have no business declaring yourself a christian irregardless of how big your church or your choir or your coffer may be !
Oh..by the way Jesus said to the rich man..give up all your worldly goods and follow me! Did i hear any 'christians' dare to say AMEN LOL LOL LOL
Mikhail - a child of the intelligent Universe
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I don't know if it is possible to rehabilitate someone to be completely straight, but for all these so called therapists who claim they can I say let them prove it by doing the converse. Let them take a straight person and rehabilitate them to be completely gay. LOL
Speaking of which, the little I saw of Ted Haggard on the TV he comes across to me as gay. And believe me if I think that then it must be true because I've been told my gaydar is like non-existent. So I suppose Ted's wife must have even worse gaydar than me, or she was blinded by love for this guy. LOL
Finally I hate the binary nature of this argument about sexual orientation that is propagated by society and the media. I tend to believe what Kinsey found in his research that there is a spectrum of sexual orientation with lots of people falling out on it between the extremes.
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that depends though... you can 'live gay', or just be obsessed with sex and like to screw everything that moves
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