Jessica Alba Unsuccessfully Tries Looking Unsexy @ TRL
Thursday, June 7th, 2007 while eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Jackson

So Jessica Alba doesn't want to be seen as sexy and all that blah blah blah bullshit crap. Whatever, I'm going to have to say that she's not doing a good job to sway our minds from having naughty thoughts of her.

























shame on her.
she looks sexy here.
Reply to this Comment
She's put on some weight, that's great. She could actually do some more, it suits her more than being a skeleton.
Reply to this Comment
This Bitch look's sexy even if she's where taking a Dump!!! HOT!!
Reply to this Comment
JESSICA ALBA IS MY TYPE OF GIRL, BUT HER PERSONALITY IS THE PROBLEM ...
Reply to this Comment
So damn cute! But I hate her eye brows. Makes her look caveman-like. Maybe part of her "I'm-not-hot"-campaign
Reply to this Comment
She's very cute but I'll wager she's going to look like "Charo" *coochie coochie*, when she gets older.
http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2002/May-31-Fri-2002/photos/charo...
Hope the link works.
Reply to this Comment
But we are interested in your acting skills. You should get a good mentor and you'll be set for life. Try Jena Jameson.
Reply to this Comment
gorgeous girl.
Reply to this Comment
WOOT JESSICA ALBA IS *NEARLY* BACKKKK!
JUST NEEDS TO GO A TINY BIT DARKER (HAIR COLOR)
Reply to this Comment
those stupid leggins with skirts/dresses...it looks do dumb
Reply to this Comment
YAY! She's back! (I hope)
Reply to this Comment
No personality, now also anorexic! Stupid OVERRATED bitch, motherfuckers.
Reply to this Comment
Sheer class and beauty. Wanna french kiss her RIGHT now.
But she needs to watch out so that she doesn't gets too skinny.
Reply to this Comment
lol she always wears those SPANX ( neimans and nordstrom have a great selection of fishnets, tights, etc) because in an interview in some 'zine she goes, "i love SPANX! they hide al my lumps and dimples!" lol no they realy dont.
and who the fuck wears LEGGINGS under a VERSACE gown???!!! go natural, and wear sexy sandals. if you can afford them, anyway, i mean, 5 mil revlon deal, and her movies always flop. lol, when will everyone get the FUCK over her overated ass? excuse me, her overated HUGE celuFAT infested ass and thighs, oh fuck, i just shuddered! and i LOVE women!!!!!! and yes, i AM a sexy lesbain :)
but alba(tross)? never ever ever she makes me want to hurl...preferably on her FACE
Reply to this Comment
~ hi five ~@Mercenary2000..Dis braud is meh. STill dont get the hype, she's a terrible actress, her personality is shit, and she's just another boney ass chick in Hollywood. *yawns*
Reply to this Comment
#14. You're totally right. That dress was beautiful and she ruined it by wearing the tights. Its a long dress so its not like she had to wear them to cover anything. What a waste! Also. would of looked better in heels rather than flats. Flats remind me of maggie gyllenhall (don't think i spelt that right)...shudder...
Reply to this Comment
She's a gorgouse girl, but her eyebrows and those leggings...
Reply to this Comment
nothing special with those droopy eyes
Reply to this Comment
What's wrong with her personality?
Reply to this Comment
urachyal
nothing special with those droopy eyes
lol shes trying to keep them open so everyone thinks shes not afflicted with down syndrome. droopy like her career!!!! lol!
Reply to this Comment
Dena
#14. You’re totally right. That dress was beautiful and she ruined it by wearing the tights. Its a long dress so its not like she had to wear them to cover anything. What a waste! Also. would of looked better in heels rather than flats. Flats remind me of maggie gyllenhall (don’t think i spelt that right)…shudder…
^ ^ agreed, and thank you, Dena!!! :)
Reply to this Comment
wahz wif da tights
Reply to this Comment
alba fired her rep because her rep alspo represents paris hilton........
Jessica Alba is not A-List nor a “real artistâ€. alba is a toolbag
Am I the only one who doesn’t think she’s hot or beautiful? There is nothing great about her at all. Her body? VS Models have better spankable bodies.
I’m confused. I think Alba is more like f-List. So I don’t think any a-Lister would follow her out just cause SHE made a big stink about something stupid, her firing her agent because he/she reps paris hilton. Yeah, they’re complete opposites except when it comes to venereal disease. They both have the herpes “down thereâ€.
There have been rumors about Jessica from way back about her VDs, and to be honest, there fucking TRUE!!!!! she sleeps with EVERYONE!!!! of course she does, thats how she gets her ’serious’ parts in shitty films. she got her start by blowing james cameron for dark angel ( more like dark BITCH ).
She’s quite bitchy though, so I can definitely see her doing this, firing her rep because he/she reps hilton.. What’s up with that on her head? Looks like straw, maybe shes loosing her hair due to all her anorexia…..low self esteem, and all she does is flaunt her ugly body ( skinny on top, HUGE on the bottom )and fugly face half nekkid, she needs to get her shit straight. whiny little cunt.
She’s like the everyday girls I see walking down the street, she just has the money, the stylist and the makeup artist to look better. ( not to mention a HELL of a lot of airbrushing )she can act? only thing she can act like is a terrible actress.
She was blonde for a movie.
I hate the fact that a BROWN EYED BRUNETTE who bleaches her hair and wears contacts is allowed to potray stereotypes of ‘blondeness’.
As many of you have already said Alba is a real bitch and the truth is that she is a cunt to work with. Treats everyone around her like servants. Why do all the MEAN people get to be famous and rich? I find this hard to believe, because I think Paris is a better actress than Jessica. AND more famous!!! LOLOLOLOL I can’t stand Paris, but Alba is a bitch on WHEELS, and makes paris look like a fucking ANGEL
Underneath every dumb blonde ( alba when she tries to deny her mexican nationality– thats so stupid ) is BLACK ROOTS!!!
If this is true, then Jessica did Paris a very Big Favor by making Paris even more famous! More famous than you, Alba! You’re only helping the cause. You’re b*tchiness is not getting you ahead on this one. Maybe Jessica’s publicist put this out there, cause of that movie she’s got coming out. I’ve heard that that’s how she got on Playboy’s cover..
Yeah, riiiiiight, “the cause†you alba-worshippers are pathetic. Your hero is rotting away form her VD pustules as we speak. This WILL be her last hurrah.
Reply to this Comment
lol, regarding her GQ photoshoot, between this( her denying her mexican roots ) and the pictures of her drooling water out of her mouth Ms. Alba is losing some serious points with me. As a person who come from very mixed heritage I’ve always liked looking a little different than “the average black guyâ€. I got teased for my thin nose and cleffed chin as a kid but it NEVER EVER bothered me because it made me DIFFERENT.
As I read these comments by Alba I realized what she was trying to do. She was trying to justify her role as Sue Storm in Fantastic Four. In the comics Sue Storm is a blond haired blue eyed average everyday white woman and I always thought Alba was the worst choice for the role given that she doesn’t have that look. im going to go out on a limb and say how she REALLY gets her parts in her crapy movies... she fucks everyone in the movie biz. Even after hair & makeup she looks weird in the part (the blue contacts look so stupid on her ). I find it insulting and ridiculous (and laughable) that Jessica isn’t exactly comfortable with how true comic fans have reacted to her being cast for the role. So basically she is tryin to convince the world she looks white and not mexican or maybe she’s actually trying to convince herself. fucking whiny annoying twit
soon, her days wil be over, and ill be so fucking happy lol.
furthermore, i hate jessica alba. go ahead, say im gay, 'retarded', stupid, blind, tasteless, jealous, fat, or i cant get a girlfriend as "hot" as her. LOL! shes not hot, shes just a stupid, superficial cunt. an insigifiCUNT. here, check out her herpes on her lip. she shares sopmething in common with hilton...look, lower fish lip.....
http://thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/2007/06/jessica-alba-ff2-premi...
Reply to this Comment
y would she think ppl see her as that she is ugly i dont like her I like big buts not small buts she has body of 8 year ur rllyy ugly move on from alba neaver thought she was hott neaver wil dont go saying in the mags that o so manyyy guys think im sexii ughh ur so uglyyyyyyyy ew what do these men seee in herr i rlly dont get it i dont bone over ugly girls sorry try get next tim e
p.s i want carmen eltrea she is older then u 1-0000000000000000 xs hotterr ur so uglyy alba would neaver do u
Reply to this Comment
Make a Scandalous Comment
Please note: Do not use multiple nicknames & leave annoying, pointless comments that only attack other Bastardly Visitors. Also, blatant racial & sexual slurs for no particular reason will not be condoned. BREAK THE RULES: YOU WILL BE BANNED & appeals via email will not be considered. Before you comment, please be aware that no comments will be edited or deleted. Ever.
Lastly, if you have special scoop (i.e. scandalous photos, bastardly ex-girlfriends & boyfriends you want to expose, etc etc), please do contact us directly. You will remain anonymous!