Lauren Conrad @ "Cloverfield" Premiere in L.A.

I hate her.

she looks pretty damn hot in this pic. look better with a facial

hahaha I like the wiki entry

That dress is a disaster.

she looks hot? she has no cans. a very average California face. what the fuck dude? this cunt rag can suck it. she is a no talent and her 15 minutes are just about up.

I was eating my peanut butter bumpers and staring at a picture of LC when my dad came into the kicthen and looked over my shoulder.
"Who's that?"
"LC."
"She's kind of funny looking."
"I think she's hot."
"She's not hot. You think she's hot? You don't know what hot is, son."
And he was right. I don't. But then why do I have a boner all day long? I wanted to ask him this. Instead I finished my cereal and thought about when the next time I'd be able to jerk off. I would think about LC. I would be fucking her on my kitchen table, a rain of peanut butter bumpers lubricating our love. And I wouldn't be me. I would be my dad.

Someone told her that her cootchie stinks, that's why her legs are crossed like that.

Nice legs, but I'm on team Heidi.

Lovely girl. Awful dress.

classic Dan-O... classic

''Book her Dan-O.''

I'm on Team Pour Gasoline All Over These Dumb Bitches And Light A Match.

masturbation is not a funny topic

Last night I snuck out of my room and smoked a copious amount of my dad's stash of medical marijuana behind the garage. Pot makes me super horny, so I decided to hop into the computer and jerk off while everyone was asleep. I don't have a computer in my room. The only computer in the house is in the kitchen, but I'm a quiet spanker so as long as I don't make any noise no one should wake up and come into the kitchen for a midnight snack. So there I am, stoned, horny and alone, jerking off to all of my favorite girls (Kaiya Lynn, Sophia, Patricia Petite, McKenzie Miles, Lindsay Kay, Ariana Jollee, Ashley Blue, Veronique Vega, Barbie Love, Loni, Savannah Stern [pre-boob job], Karina Kay, Lexi Belle, Jenny Hendrix, ASHLEY JENSEN [who has to be number one right now as far as porn stars go]), and I'm listening to my iPod with the volume pretty low (for some reason I was listening Prince's 1981 Album Controvery), and I'm trying to figure out which clip I'm going to blow my load to (I decided on the latest Ashley Jensen clip [pornstarultra.com/ns/jensenmm/ablog181b.html]) and my body gets all tense and I brace myself for that white heat when all of a sudden I get a fucking monster charlie horse/cramp in my right calf and the pain is so intense that I fall out of my chair onto the kitchen floor trying not to scream. My dad must've heard something because I hear his bedroom door open and then he's walking down the hall towards the kitchen, so I jump up from the floor on one leg, pull up my pants, wipe the excess lotion on my t-shirt, sit back down, and hit HIDE SAFARI on the computer. My dad walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge, drinks out of the orange juice container, and swallows hard.

i gotta go with Papi on this one Dan-O, this is def some deep shit your revealing to the gauntlet...do you share a bedroom with your 3rd cousins?

Eww #18!!Are you Ed Yang?? Anyway,I read on The Skinny Website that this chick is a fatty now.

I have my own bedroom. I still sleep in the same race car bed that my dad got me when I was seven. And I don't have any cousins because my dad's sister is sterile (they wouldn't let her adopt because she was arrested and spent time in jail during the early 1980's) and his brother was gay and died of AIDS in 1990. But I'm happy. Because I'm in love and her name is Ashley Jensen.

Dan-O you sound suspiciously like Edward yang particularly when your dad shows up; all of which is great. keep writing.

no #22..Dan-O is Ed's son!!Dan is talking about his father!! Dan-O is Ed Yong!! (young)

Dan-O.....you and Ed need to need to write movies....y'know like Napoleon Dynamite or Clerks....twisted but funny and believable stuff.

LMFAO someone give this guy an oscar already

Did she start faux-tanning from her ankles up and then get sick of it? Why is it that these chicks are multi-coloured? Pasty in the face and gradually darker as you work your way down. I guess most of the action is from the waist down so they don't bother about the upper body so much.

well, at least she looked better at the premeire than her rival from whatever show that was...

i guess thats something

Edward Yang is stupid I never found that idiot funny

HAHA, lmao at ACE's comment.

Nasty bushy badly shaped eyebrows and a forced fake smile. She is one who needs a makeover. The hair isn't working and the dress is not flattering either.

18 - got no life, nothing but sick-freak mind

A list of things that are fake:
her smile
the show shes on
the drama she gets into
friends (they dont really like her) lmao
and her personailty

Are these girls invited to premieres or do they just show up?

She's cute. That dress has a nice cut and she wears it well, but those patterns are horrendous.

Dan-O, that's pretty deep.....hahahha

ZZZZZZZZzzzzz......