Surprise, Surprise! Lauren Conrad Got Wasted Last Night!

I would love to split the drunk bitch in half

I bet that jacket is covering up a nip slip.

surprise, surprise you guys are the only ones that care!

Let the girl have some good time, it's her birthday!

The girl behind her, Lauren "Lo" Bosworth, is about a million times hotter than her. If you can find some decent pics of her, you should do a bastardly vote of who's hotter.

Dear Lauren:

My marriage proposal for Hayden goes for you too. If you marry me I promise to eat lick suck your entire body every single night until it dawns on you that I am a disgusting creep, which in your case, might happen the next day. But still, I would worship your perfect California beach body and would never ask you to do anything you didn't want to do. I would always keep a bottle of water handy in case you were thirsty, and I would wash your hair for you and paint your toes that horrible color of black you like so much. All I ask is that you let me, just once, slip it inside of you. I promise not to come to fast, which, in my case, with you at least, means I would be able to control myself for maybe three or four minutes. If you let me fuck you I promise I'll stop looking at porn, and, upon completion of said act, I promise to either hang myself from the nearest ceiling fan or jump from the balcony of your apartment. When I am dead you can have my totally righteous collection of Chris Ware/Acme Novelty books, even though I get the feeling that books probably make you nervouse and agitated. What I'm trying to say is that I want to slip my tube steak into you perfect clean puss and fuck you as hard as I can for as long as I can. I will wear a condom, but no, on second thought, I want to feel all of your creamy hot wet tight hole, if only for a moment. I would die a happy man if I could fuck you, Lauren, and, in the end, isn't that what's most important in life, making a miserable cunt like me happy just one time? The last time I was happy was in the back seat of my Jeep, I was 18, the school slut, also small and blonde and oh so sunny looking, wearing a pink terrycloth tube top dress with no undewear and five inch black stiletto heels, roughly guided my skinny Jewish pencil into her still tight love box, fucked the shit out of me for a couple of minutes, when I tapped her on the shoulder and she got off of me and put my dick in her mouth and let me come. I remember what happened. She swallowed and looked at me and said Okay, are you happy now, and I was, because she had fucked every other guy in school, and during lunch I would have to sit there and eat my bologna sandwich while they talked loudly about what a powerful the school slut was, describing her luscious pillow tits and how the moment they got inside of her she would start talking dirty, saying Fuck me hard, Fuck me, and how they had never heard a girl talk like that before, and I wanted to hear her say that to me too, and she did, and that's when I tapped her on the shoulder because whenever a girl talks dirty I can't control myself, I still can't, even though that was the first and last time a girl said anything dirty to me, Lauren. But you know what I'm trying to say even if I don't. I just know you do.

What a proposal.. how could she possibly turn that down Ed...

Opps... I meant Richard....

Suprise surprise she's wearing a strapless dress. She looks cute though.

who is lauren?

Wow...she looks like she had a good night. Bitch just got fired for being a poor role model, so what does she do? Gets hammered!
Her shoes suck.

She has ugly feet.

I'd grudge fuck her in the ass, nut on her back, then cut up her charge cards.

She always looks kinda depressed when she's drunk.

I just wanked on that drunk bitch !!! sadly I am not allowed to drink alcohol anymore - but when I was young I was drunk very often and I liked it a lot !!!!

She is so vanilla mayonnaise. Boring dull & lame. There is nothing special about her.

I bet Lo was wearing a strap-on and getting LC from behind.

Richard, thank you for the novellic dialogues that allow us insight as to what drives your psyche. You enable me to not feel so distraught about my own.

yuck.. heidi is way hotter

Please don't say bad things about her feet. I like her feet. They're cute. They look odd is these photos because she is getting out of the car and using her piggies to push off. Please. No. Don't. Don't say that. You're making me lose my boner, Manny Yohner.