Bastardly Awards
Worst Dressed: Venus Williams @ 2009 ESPY Awards
Thursday, July 16th, 2009 late in the morning while chugging coffee by Moe
Any of you fashion experts have a few tips for Venus so that this won't happen at next year's ESPY awards?
Ugly Dress Award: Branka Katic @ "Public Enemies" L.A. Premiere
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
Damn, look at those shoulder pads! I didn't know they made shit like this anymore.
Anyway, here's more info on Branka:
Branka Katić (Serbian Cyrillic: Бранка Катић) is a Serbian actress. Her film appearances include Black Cat, White Cat and Im Juli. Her television work includes playing Tatiana Taylor, second wife of Barry Taylor in Auf Wiedersehen Pet, a story arc on the HBO series Big Love, as Ana, Bill Henrickson's brief fourth-wife, and Entourage, as Nika Marx, the producer's wife in the episode "The Prince's Bride." [Source]
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Sophia Milos Receives Bastardly's Prestigious "Best Boobies" Award
Thursday, May 14th, 2009 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
These were snapped @ Maxim's 10th Annual Hot 100 Celebration in Santa Monica.From a juiciness perspective, Sophia Milos is killing it (from the neck down)! Now all she needs is a new face to replace the aging one she has on right now...
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Brittny Gastineau @ Us Weekly's Hot Hollywood Party
Friday, April 18th, 2008 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
Brittny's career is taking a turn as of right now: She just won the best rack @ Us Weekly's D List Party award from the Bastardly. More chicks need show off their goods when nothing better is going on in their careers.
And the Wiki says...
Brittny Gastineau (born November 11, 1982) is an American model, socialite, and reality television personality. She is of French ancestry hence her French surname. She is the daughter of former New York Jets defensive end football player Mark Gastineau, and Lisa Gastineau, with whom she starred on E!'s reality TV show Gastineau Girls. Gastineau also starred in another E! reality series, Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive. [Wiki]
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2007 Bastadly Skanky Ho of the Year Award - Heat B
Friday, December 21st, 2007 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
Here's the next heat of chicks in our quest to crown the skanky ho of the year...
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2007 Bastardly Skanky Ho of the Year Award - Heat A
Thursday, December 20th, 2007 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
In a few years we envision the Bastardly Skanky Ho of the Year Award to rival major awards handed out during the upcoming award season. I'm kidding. Fresh content is low, so we're having to scrape the bottom of the celebrity gossip barrel. Our apologies.
We chose fifteen of the Skankiest Hos of 2007 and will showcase them in three separate heats. Your job is to vote for the Skankiest Ho in each heat. Top two Skanky Hos from each heat will move on to a semifinal round w/ two heats of three Skanky Hos each. One winner from each of the two heats in the semifinal round will move on to a final, deciding round. All this will hopefully be done by January 1st.
I don't even know what I typed right now, but we'll see how it all works out. Just make sure you review the pictures carefully before voting for your Skanky Ho candidate.
Ok, let's get this started...
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Kellie Pickler @ 2007 AMAs: Slutty Dress Award Winner!
Monday, November 19th, 2007 around evening with martini & women in hand by Moe
After reviewing tons & tons of pictures from the event I've come to two conclusions:1. American award shows suck ass from a slutty attire standpoint. The fact of the matter is that chicks are simply not daring anymore.
2. This dress isn't really that slutty or exciting, but when you compare it to the rest of the boring outfits, it's definitely in a class of its own.
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Jennifer Love Hewitt @ 2007 Oscars - Winner of Bastardly Juiciest Boobies Award
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007 late in the whored-out afternoon while still at work by Moe
Why does she insist on hiding those puppies?!
Come on Hef!! Please up the layout paycheck to around $10mil, plus some Playboy stock options! Take a financial hit for the Horndogg Community, God damn it!!
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Katie Lohmann Wins The Bastardly Hoochie Award - 2007 Oscars
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
And the Wiki says...
Katie Lohmann (born 29 January 1980 in Scottsdale, Arizona) is a model, actress, and most notably a Playboy Playmate for the month of April 2001.
She is the youngest of three children, with a brother and a sister. Her father, Dan, is a successful accountant and her mother, Sharon, is the head of payroll for Citibank. They were divorced in 1992.
She currently resides in Woodland Hills, California and hopes to do more comedy work in the future, utilizing her talents to become successful and respected. [Wiki]
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Zuleyka Rivera @ 49th Grammys - Winner of the Bastardly God D-D-D-Damn Award
Monday, February 12th, 2007 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
