Bastardly Breaking News!
BREAKING NEWS! Kristen Stewart States: "I've Earned My Stripes!"
Monday, November 9th, 2009 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
Photo Credit: Bauer-GriffinWe'll be seeing a lot more of Kristen Stewart in the coming weeks as her new flick "Twilight: New Moon" hits theaters across the globe. The film opens on November 20th.
These were snapped late last week as Kristen dropped by her house to pick up a suitcase & then headed to LAX. She's currently doing a promotional tour through Europe leading up the premiere.
Here's the trailer:
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Sophie Monk Went Shopping at Oxford St. in Sydney
Monday, November 9th, 2009 while eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Jackson
Sophie Monk recently confirmed that she will have her own reality tv show on MTV that will be a sort of mockumentary about life in LA."We take the p*** Australian-style because (the LA lifestyle) is ridiculous really. It's so fickle and silly and I can't wait to show that side, because everyone else plays up the other side, but this will show the real way it is." Source
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Kourtney Kardashian Went To Eat @ Beso Restaurant
Monday, November 9th, 2009 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Jackson
Kourtney Kardashian says that she's worried about the pregnancy weight and pretty much wants to be done with it already so she can get back into shape already."I gained three pounds since yesterday. I weigh myself every day. Today I vowed that I was going to wear flats, and then at the last second, I threw on some heels. I can’t wait to sit down already. It’s hard carrying extra weight. I’m over the red carpet and being pregnant." Source
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BREAKING! Ashton Kutcher Drives A Lexus LS600 hL!
Monday, November 9th, 2009 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
Photo Credit: Bauer-GriffinDoes Ashton Kutcher simply love older & finer things in life or is simply forcing himself into the lifestyle in order to create lucrative business opportunities? All I'm saying is that this dude could be driving Ferraris & sleeping with hot 20-somethings...
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BREAKING! Britney Slightly Cold in Perth, Australia!
Thursday, November 5th, 2009 late in the whored-out afternoon while still at work by Moe

Britney Spears & Co. will kick off the Australian leg of her "Circus" tour in the coming days. After touching ground a couple days back, Brit (probably her assistant) hit Twitter with the following message, "Longest flight ever but we had a great time - so excited to be here," she tweeted.
BREAKING!! Russell Brand Photographed Wearing Shorts! Asics & Umbro Sponsor His Workout!
Thursday, November 5th, 2009 while eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
Photo Credit: SplashI know most of you bastards hate this dude & this post is giving off slightly homosexual vibes, but I'm tellin' you, he's got a hilarious live act that shouldn't be missed. Anyway, I'd much rather see Blake Lively prancing around in hot pants, but for a guy who has never been photographed in public without his possibly gay, definitely metro-sexual skinny jeans, white tee & black jacket, these post-workout pics are somewhat shocking. Did he get lazy after working out or what?
And as a side note for all you English football fans: Russell's wearing West Ham United Football club shorts.
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BREAKING!! Jaime Pressly Got A Parking Ticket in LA Last Week!
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 late in the morning while chugging coffee by Moe

Believe it or not, but I actually spent money to go see "I Love You, Man" in the theaters. Besides having to sit through all the horrible acting & bullshit dialogue, Jaime Pressly's character in the movie was a hilarious treat. She and her husband (played by Jon Favreau--of "Swingers" fame) played the sexaholic-married-couple role who perform extremely kinky acts in an attempt to keep their sex life interesting. Check it out on DVD if you get a chance.
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BREAKING NEWS!! Lady GaGa Still Celebrating Halloween
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 after a late four martini lunch by Moe

What the fuck happened to simply making good music and living life like a normal human being??! Why does there have to be a cracked-out character behind every success story?
Anyway, these were snapped last night at the 13th annual ACE Awards Gala in New York City.
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BREAKING! LaToya Jackson Served Milkshakes For Charity! AAW!
Monday, November 2nd, 2009 while eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
Photo Credit: Bauer-GriffinCouldn't she just write a check with some of the money Michael left her in his will---that's assuming MJ remembered her. Anyway, these were snapped on Halloween night in Hollywood as LaToya took time out of her busy "spend-the-money-my-brother-left-me" schedule & came out in support of "Aids Project LA" by serving milkshakes & posing for photos with Michael Jackson impersonators. What a thoughtful way of remembering Michael!

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BREAKING! Jessica Alba & Baby Honor Smile For The Paparazzi!
Friday, October 30th, 2009 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
Photo Credit: Karl Milan / Splash NewsFirst off, Jessica Alba's lookin' awesome in her jeans & boots combo! She just needs to invest in some quality ass implants & I think she'll be set...
Anyway, normally when the paparazzi capture a pic of Baby Honor Marie & Mommy Jessica Alba, they look like they're heading to a funeral, but that wasn't the case earlier this afternoon in Los Angeles.
Both mom & daughter were spotted with big smiles on their faces as they walked back to the car after grabbing lunch in Beverly Hills. You have to admit, with Jessica Alba having five projects in the works for the coming year, who wouldn't be smiling?! That's a shit load of money for Alba-Warren LLC.
Once again: DAMN YOU, CASH WARREN!!




















