Random Rants

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

I was hoping to get these pics up yesterday when the news first broke, but I couldn't find some of my favorite women standing next to a taxi. Thankfully, that problem has since been resolved, so here's Bastardly's take on NYC's plan to give the car-pooling experience to people sharing a cab, with two or more passengers riding together to nearby locations in the city.

From a Bastardly perspective, "two or more passengers" really means "two more hot women," so this is totally a win-win situation from all angles. Dudes desperate for action...

1. Get the chance to sit next to hot, rich women---w/ the possibility for exchanging numbers to schedule a later meeting, which might lead to sex (possibly is better than nothing, right?)
2. Save money on the ride
3. Don't pollute as much
4. And, of course, allow cabbies to earn more dough!

So, have you ever wanted to ride a cab with say supermodels like Gisele Bundchen or Miranda Kerr? Well, you could soon be doing just that (assuming they want to share a cab, that is)! Since we have a habit of taking things too far, we've compiled a batch of pics of celebrities getting into NYC cabs...

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Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

We recently got our slimey hands on a few celebrity baby photos, so we'll let you guys take a stab at guessing which celeb goes with each picture.

Bastardly Gaydar Rating
No worries about the homosexual nature of this task. Since you're performing this online, it's really not as gay as it sounds. Now, if you were to meet up at your bro's house specifically to look over celebrity baby pictures, then it'd be a whole different ball game.

Anyway, each celebrity pic has a number, so make sure you include the number w/ your answer...

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David Letterman things "something doesn't smell right."

And if you missed it: What Do You Bastards Think About Sarah Palin?

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Photo Credit: Splash News

I know this has no biz being posted on Bastardly, but since we love all things freaky, we figured this might get your attention.

Say hello to our two potential sex tape partners (hey, it's possible!): The world's shortest living man - 20-year-old He Pingping from China, who is 74.61cm tall & Svetlana Pankratova from Russia, who has the longest legs of any woman in the world - 132 cm.

The couple posed in Trafalgar Square in London to launch the new Guinness Book Of World Records 2009.

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That's Haley Paige from the 2006 AVN Awards in Vegas. She mysteriously died this past August. Read more about her death in the comments section over here & on her Wiki page.

Actually, it was this post that's responsible for the cure & here's the comment that further explains things...

I am a former Porn Addict. I say former, because from this day forward I am going to be free of this horrible destructive addiction. And Maryam is helping me to realize how wrong it is! (I'll explain this in a minute) As an addict, I've lost connection with how to be intimate with my girlfriend in a healthy loving way, I can't always look at a women without impure disgusting thoughts creeping into my head about them and it has actually lead to me and my girlfriend falling out of the love. She cheated on me because she found out about my addiction to porn, something I at the time didn't consider “cheating” BUT IT IS!!! IT IS WRONG!! The people on the other end of the screen are real as you can see, and live VERY SAD AND TORTURED LIVES. NONE of them are happy, and we are led to believe in the lie that the porn industry sells us, and that the girls want to be there and that they love what they are doing. THIS COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.
Today I found “The truth about the fantasy of porn” An article written by former porn star Shelley Lubben. After I read it, I felt disgusted to my stomach with myself. How could I actually have believed in the lies I was being told all this time? Just an innocent fantasy!?!? ANYTHING BUT!!! I then went to Shelly's Website, and Myspace page, and saw a slideshow on all the actresses who have died tragically as a result of this hideous and deceptive industry, and the prostitute trade, and I saw that Haley was the newest one to die this way tragically, however the picture this time was not of Haley, it was of her coffin. That really drove it home. Then I came to this site, and felt disgusted at seeing the picture above and wished I could just see a picture of her looking decent, the way I'm sure she wished she wanted to. Because she was a person with all the same thoughts as you or I and with dreams just like you and I, but she was not as fortunate as you and I. And then I saw all the comments people were making and that made me soooooooo angry! I'm angry that people think this way about women, like they are nothing but objects, (sagging breasts, must be “perfect” like a product. Hey guess what! sagging breasts are f*ing natural! I think they are more attractive because they are natural! But I don't want to look at her that way anymore. She doesn't deserve me violating her body by looking at it without her permission.) that I believed in these lies too, but most of all that these poor girls are being abused, exploited, used up, thrown out, treated like garbage, forced to do things they can not stand, and eventually that they feel there is no other alternative then to kill themselves. HOW DARE WE!! She is beautiful, and I know that despite all the torture and destruction she had to endure, she had a beautiful soul. And she never even got the chance to find her dreams, AND IT IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR!!! Do yourselves a favor people and look up Shelley Lubben. Find out the truth about this industry. Maryam you were a beautiful person, and you deserved so much better. I am so sorry you had to leave us too early in life! But know that your death did not happen in vein! You are helping me! And I hope your story will help many others! [Haley Paige at AVN 2006 in Las Vegas]

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This comes from Beans @ The Bastardly Society:

Producers should:

1. Drive to the zoo.

2. Borrow some monkeys

3. Put said monkeys into a room with a bunch of typewriters.

4. ?????

5. Profit.

Hollywood writers are delusional. Their job is cake, they keep recycling the same crap over and over. They probably have a choose your own adventure template they use and bust out a screenplay in an afternoon. [Source]

MORE TAKES:
Studios Hit Back At WGA Strikers, Threaten Job Cuts
'Lost' could be a loser if writers stay out on strike
Can the Web benefit from writers strike?

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This week, the plan is to get hot celebs to ask for donations for the Wiki. Help fund the greatest source of information everrr compiled by mankind. Since our donation to the Wiki Foundation, two people (Wei Tat Lee & Anonymous) have already donated. We'll take credit for those two donors & all the ones until the end of our donation drive.

As you guys know, we use & abuse Wikipedia's services week in & week out. The Wiki helps us to discover odd things about celebrities we post daily, as well as learn about new d-list celebs who have a great rack & a pretty face. Besides whoring out the Wiki for celeb-filler information w/in our posts, I've heard from some friends that Wikipedia also spreads other types of knowledge which is non-celebrity related (we'll take their word for it...).

So w/ that in hand...DONATE TODAY!!!

UPDATE:
As of this second, nearly $370 has trickled into the foundation following our donation. Our donation & donation drive will result in millions for the foundation. I'm getting all teary eyed as I write this, by the way...

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It's so damn exclusive that you need a bloody invite just to get in! Here's what they have to say...

Aptly titled, the Complex Platinum Club, we've opened the doors to our exclusive invite-only retail store. Resting atop of heavyweight sneaker shop Training Camp's 41st Street location in NYC, the Complex store stocks impressive threads form MHI, Penfield, Staple, Modern Amusement, WESC, as well as footwear from Jordan, Y-3, Clae, Supra (Gold Skytops) and more. [Complex Magazine]

So, do you live in NYC & want access? Go here for a special invite.

Since Complex is a unique mag w/ two distinct sides: one side for the consumer dude & the other side for the consumer dude turned horndogg bastard, I'm assuming Complex has plans to hire really hot chicks to work @ the store. If that's the case, we're keeping our bastardly fingers crossed for...

1. Hot chicks who change your clothes for you in the dressing room,
2. Or possibly hot chicks who give massages as you try on endless pairs of limited edition kicks,
3. Or maybe gold digging, hot chicks who go to dinner w/ you once the Platinum Club closes down @ 7:30p.

We're still waiting for confirmation on all those juicy details, so you can either wait for more info or head to the store & check for yourself!

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In the Asian Corner we have...

Dan
skinny bitch you really are a fucking ugly cunt bitch. Come back and talk if you can say you're hotter than

http://www.asian-sirens.com/blog/images/uploads/ChristineNguyen02.jpg

http://www.asian-sirens.com/blog/images/uploads/ChristineNguyen01.jpg

http://www.koreanwiz.org/Song_Hae_Gyo_1.jpg

http://tuoitho.net/diendan/gallery/resize/34819-1125892847.jpg


Jealous because you're stupid ass trailer trash. Asian women are among the most beautiful in the world. Don't hate because they're stealing all your fucking men. No one wants to sleep with a fucking bitch who's so insecure, rascist, and ignorant she'd flat out trash talk a whole entire fucking race of women. Fucking nasty ass bitch. [Source]

And in the White Corner we have...

skinny bitch
Dan your just some fucking ugly jealous faggot. And asian women are ugly as sin they scoop alll the shit that white girls dont want. And we steal their men. The only hot asian dude was Brandon lee and he was in love with a white girl. Also tiger woods has a white wife. We steal all of your hot men. And leave you our shit ugly white dudes. All the men I know say asian women are the ugliest with their ugly big fat moon faces and little ugly lines. And retarded little ugly accents. On ask men.com their were only 4 asian girls out of a hundred so that prove's guys dont like them. Because they are ugly and not sexy. with concave chest and butts. And ugly charcoal tar looking hair. [Source]

If you're commenting with links, don't repeat comment!! We'll approve & your comment will eventually post. Thanks.

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Someone left this comment over here. Please help her.

Hello I am a Nigerian Born in. I am 25 years of age and presently in the University of Agriculture Abeokuta studying Chemistry. i have flare and interested in becoming a porn star.

I believe with people like you people far away from regions where porn films are not really practised will be given the chance to express thereselves through this great medium you have created.I will really appreciateit if i am giving the oppurtunity. I will like to use this medium to tell you that i can do bondage, Gang bang,and all sort of porn act.

I will be expecting a reply from you as i am waiting to become a porn star.

dewizone@yahoo.com

Yours Sincerely

dewizone

[Source]

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