Club Stories
Brian, James, Jason & Jackson can be in charge of this...
Sound Off! Your Favorite Drink
Saturday, May 7th, 2005 late in the damn evening, after tantric sex by brian
Davis, CA.
The Wicky Wacky Woo.
They fill the straw with 151, so it's fun from the get go!
The Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: GloThong!
Monday, November 29th, 2004 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
Only a brotha could be so creative!
Being guys, it didn't take us long to gravitate to them. My co-workers find it endlessly entertaining. Inventor, Beau Carpenter. [Houston Chronicle]
Yes, girls & cross-dressing boys. For only $49.95, you can light up a room with your thong! How sexy is that?! Apparently the thong is powered by the kinetic energy created by the movements of your booty. If you believed me, you’re pretty sad. Actually a couple rechargeable batteries power up the holy device & if for some reason you’re too busy having sex & forget to recharge your thong, no worries! You can charge it up in the car while you're driving to your booty-shaking venue! Anyway, Beau Carpenter, the MBA student who invented the device, provides some additional wisdom:
I would not recommend driving and recharging at the same time. It's really meant to be recharged off of the body.
If you want to bag a free Bastardly.com T-shirt, send a photo of yourself sporting this sacred thong! (Rules: Girls only. Please remember to take the photo in the dark, unless, of course, you’re completely nude. I’M KIDDING!!)
The Bastardly T-Shirt! Be Bastardly Today!
Tuesday, November 9th, 2004 around evening with martini & women in hand by Moe
Click T for larger image.
Yes-yes, I shit you not, my friends. In order to help you pucker up with hot girls or boys at bars, clubs & tip-top private parties around the world, we've created the universal pickup line. If you can't get to at least 2nd base now, you might want to call it quits & move to Nepal to lead a lonely life in the mountains.
Kiss goodbye to your inhibitions & spread the Bastardly Love & Spirit, baby!
T-Shirt Photo Contest!
You buy. You snap. You win. The simple rules include:
1. Wear the shirt out one night in a kickass city of your choice
2. Take a hot photo* with someone whom you do not know (Tip: Guys, choose someone Varian Gray would hit up on. All you beautiful gals, please give some love to the insecure Asians! They are funny & can help you out when your computer breaks down!)
3. E-mail us your photo.
Our well experienced team will gauge the photo's hotness level & post them up for readers to enjoy (with your permission)! So what does the winner get? You can either have another T or opt for the "special, secret prize" which you'll get in the mail soon after you win.
Wavin & Jackson: Don't email asking if it's Porn! It's not, you dirty-dirty people!
Cost: $15 (that includes shipping) for US/Canada residents. People abroad, add $3. There are limited quantities of smalls & xls, so grab ‘em quick if you wanna wear the T @ parties during the holiday season! As the Ts will be ready in a couple weeks, you may order via Paypal, check, money order or cash (at your own risk). Rock on!
*Implies you to be in a hot pose! Be creative!
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Great News For ManWhores & Chumps
Friday, October 8th, 2004 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
In a recent study done by the Data Monitor, it was published that da ladies are drinking more than their usual share of booze @ bars & restaurants.
Restaurant Biz reports:
No joke, guys. 27% more. So if the typical hot girl is downing 3 shots on Thursdays this month, she'll be jumpin' up to nearly 4 shots by October, 2009! Nothing's wrong with that, right? She has 5 years to build up tolerance to handle that extra shot, so no worries.
The article goes on to say:
Restaurant Biz reports:
The other dynamic likely to raise and change the mix of on-premise beverage sales is an increase in the number of women who feel comfortable about drinking outside their homes. Data Monitor predicts that the consumption of alcoholic beverage by female consumers will jump 27% by 2009.
No joke, guys. 27% more. So if the typical hot girl is downing 3 shots on Thursdays this month, she'll be jumpin' up to nearly 4 shots by October, 2009! Nothing's wrong with that, right? She has 5 years to build up tolerance to handle that extra shot, so no worries.
The article goes on to say:
"The feminization of alcohol has had the single biggest impact on the [on-premise] trade in the past 15 years, and has affected male drinking habits," said Danielle Rebelo, a consumer-markets analyst for Data Monitor and author of the drink study, "Trends and Behaviors in the On-Trade 2004." She attributes the sharp rise in drinking by women to changes in their earning power, relationships, and status.
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Vegas Baby Vegas
Thursday, July 29th, 2004 in the weewizzle hours by brian
Ahh, I love vacation time in Vegas...the casinos, the bars, the lounges, and especially the strip clubs make Vegas an amazing place. But dude, since the last time i was there, the "slim shady"ness of the tipping scheme has increased 20 fold. Everywhere I went, I was asked to tip them for better service, seats, drinks, ladies, entrance, and so forth. At the clubs, the bouncers want to be tipped for front of the line access, and even at the strip clubs, the b0uncers want to be tipped so you can get a good close seat to the stage. I swear, I probably spent up to $150 in just tipping alone in Vegas. Sure, I got in earlier, and my seat at the titty bar was sort of close, but do you all think it's actually worth it? I am a man of customer service, but dude, paying for a better seat at the titty bar, that is just going too far.
