Adriana Lima & Marko Jaric

These are from earlier in the month where Adriana picks out her beauty favorites at the Lexington Victoria's Secret Store. Thanks Kim!

Yes folks, Adriana Lima is pregnant. Well, there's been rumors flying around for a while now but it was confirmed by a rep to US Magazine this week that Adriana & Lucky Bastard Marko Jaric are expecting their first child. It was bound to happen but I guess we didn't want to have to see it.

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See the rest of the set here!

As you guys know, Marko Jaric, the pro-basketball player who's currently averaging about 10 minutes and just under 2 points a game this season for the Memphis Grizzlies, drugged Adriana on Valentine's Day & got hitched. The "honeymoon period," which typically lasts a few months, abruptly came to an end earlier today when SI.com broke some scandalous news about Marko. Here's an excerpt:

A Philadelphia woman has accused Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric of sexual assault, multiple sources familiar with the investigation told SI.com. The incident allegedly occurred in March when the Grizzlies were in Philadelphia to play the 76ers. [SI.com]

Bastardly Analysis
Since Adriana Lima commands Bastardly respect, we're gonna give Marko Jaric the benefit of the doubt & assume the woman doing the accusing is a gold-digging whorebag. Why would any man in his right mind go through so much trouble to court one of the most beautiful women in the world, only to end up taking a dump on his life just weeks after getting married by sexually assaulting another woman? It just doesn't make sense, damn it.

We have a feeling this Philly woman doing the accusing was either paid-off by some rich, impatient bastard who desperately wants to catch Adriana on the rebound or it's also possible that this woman's hatred for Marko Jaric turned her into a sadistic bitch. Here's how it went down: She first drugged Marko inside his hotel room and then took scandalous pics of him doing dumbass things with her.

UPDATE: FRIDAY, MARCH 13TH, 2009
Ok, so SI is now reporting that no charges were filed against Marko Jaric.

First, here's an excerpt from the SI.com article:

"I received official word from the Philadelphia District Attorney's office that after a thorough investigation no charges will be filed against my client ... in connection with the alleged incident with an unnamed female on February 11, 2009," said Jaric attorney Bruce Castor in a statement to SI.com.

"Persons in Marko's position are often the target of malicious statements and it is not unusual for the police to be asked to investigate. However, these allegations were proved to be completely false, and while Marko is extremely unsettled by these accusations, he is happy that the law enforcement authorities have cleared him of any criminal conduct and the issue can now be put to rest." [Read more]

Taking all this into account, it sounds like someone did an outstanding cleanup job to save Marko Jaric. One of four possible scenarios transpired:

Scenario #1: Marko fucked around & now paid off the gold-digging hottie from Philly. Anyone find a picture of her yet? We wanna do a Bastardly Matchup of her & Adriana (just for added effect to prove Marko Jaric's dumbass doucheness).

Scenario #2: Marko didn't do anything, but still paid off this bitch so she'd shut the fuck up & drop all charges.

Scenario #3: This is the least likely scenario. Marko didn't do anything & the police couldn't find any wrongdoing, so all charges were dropped.

Scenario #4: Marko's PR team, coupled with great lawyers & Eastern European mobsters paid off the cops, private investigators, the gold-digger & pretty much shut everyone up.

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These photos of Adriana are from 2006...

Actually the headlines say that Adriana Lima and Marko Jaric eloped but nonetheless it was a small ceremony in Jackson Hole, WY. In case you were wondering, Marko is averaging about 10 minutes and just under 2 points a game this season for the Memphis Grizzlies, while pulling in a $6,575,000 salary. Lucky bastard.

“We are so excited about our future together,” Lima said. “And we are really looking forward to a big romantic wedding this summer with all our friends and family.”

Lima also hinted that she might be pregnant, noting on her Myspace page, "There are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say...YET." Her rep, however, maintains that the rumors are not true. Source

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Major props to the dude who emailed these into Bastardly HQ. I have to admit, the weekend was pretty shitty until I saw Adri flashing her lil' juicies to the cameras. God d-d-d-daaayum!

Thank you, Ms. Lima & damn you to hell, Marko Jaric!!

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Photo Credit: BIG PICTURES/bauergriffinonline.

As you guys, Adriana & Marko (bastardsonofabitchwhorebag!) are currently vacationing in Croatia. These pics were snapped over the weekend in Hvar, Croatia, which is actually a tiny island in the Adriatic Sea with a 2001 reported population of 4,138. Talking about wanting to be alone!!

Anyway, if you missed it from Friday, check out these pics of Adriana heading for some classic Bastardly Yacht Sex! Ow!

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That bastard!!

Then again, I would do exactly the same thing if I was vacationing in Croatia---or anywhere else in the world, for that matter. Son of a bitchwhorebag!!

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Seriously, DAMN YOU MARKO JARIC!!! It pained me putting this post together and looking at all these photos of Marko and Adriana all happy and shit. DAMN YOU!!!! Okay, now you all will feel the same pain. BTW, his 2008 salary is $6,500,000.

From the red carpet: (Thanks, Pstroyer)

Update: 6 adds from pstroyer

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Photo Credit: Gabo/Matingas/bauergriffinonline

These were snapped as the couple arrived into LAX. I don't know about you guys, but Adriana Lima seems like the type of kinky chick who'd be down to apply for exclusive membership @ the Mile High Club. Damn you, Marko Jaric, damn you!!

Besides recently getting engaged, there hasn't been much news out of the Lima-Jaric camp---not even false rumors of Adri getting knocked up w/ (God forbid) Marko Jaric's kid. Let's just hope that Marko's getting a piece while they make preparations for the big wedding.

And lastly, taking Adriana's hotness into full consideration, I seriously wouldn't mind attending her wedding. Let's admit it, the hottie level at the bash will pretty much be as close to heaven as you come! God-d-d-d-d-daamn!!

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Normally Adriana Lima candid pics kinda suck ass, but she looks absolutely beautiful in these! The rock on her finger looks pretty damn huge w/ smaller stones to the side. Anyone wanna take a guess as to its size & cost?

That bastard Marko Jaric better have dropped top dollar for getting a piece of Adri's juicy ass!

Son of a bitch.

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As you guys probably already heard, Adriana Lima & Marko Jaric are officially engaged. Here's a snippet from yesterday's post when we made the prediction...

Bastardly sources are claiming that Marko Jaric might use the occasion to pop the big question before or after diving into a long session of tantric Adriana Lima Birthday Sex. If I were Marko, I'd pop that shit out right before & then proceed to have some of the best sex known to man. Then again, that's just all fantasy... [Adriana Lima's Birthday Tribute]

For once, our anonymous Bastardly source was right!!

James Weir, Adriana's lucky-bastard-publicist, left the press with this sad message: "He asked and she said yes. They are both incredibly happy and couldn't be more in love." He then broke down like a little girl who got stood up for prom.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to timing. Marko Jaric was simply in the right place @ the right time. Damn him.

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