Star Jones
Star Jones Trying To Look Hot @ "Lakeview Terrace" NY Premiere
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
Photo Credit: WORKUM/bauergriffinonline.comWe've done a lot of poking fun @ Star Jones over the years, so why not go down memory lane...Remember this?!
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Star Jones Still Ugly @ Ebony Magazine's Pre-Oscar Party
Sunday, February 24th, 2008 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
Since she has been out of the limelight as of late, here's the Wiki...
Star Jones Reynolds (born March 24, 1962) is an American lawyer, best known for her stint as a co-host of the ABC weekday morning talk show The View. On August 20, 2007, she began hosting an eponymous talk show based on the law and pop culture as part of Court TV's daytime programming.
She appeared in "Screwed," the eighth season finale of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. While her character was also named Star Jones, she was not playing herself, but rather a prosecuting attorney from Brooklyn—a position she held earlier in her career. [Wiki]
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Buttabody Star Jones: Proof That Al Reynolds Is Gay
Monday, May 1st, 2006 in the weewizzle hours by Moe
Reminder: Buttafaces.com will soon have all the Buttafaces!!
Grab your yackbag (or two, or maybe three) before continuing.
Godspeed.
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Skinny Fat Star Jones: Weightloss, Money & Her New Book
Monday, January 9th, 2006 late in the morning while chugging coffee by Moe
All three, weight loss, money, & new book, are linked, my friends.
It's being rumored that the only reason Star Jones became Shamu was so that she could eventually lose the weight (through exercise), write a book & then sell it the millions of obese women around the world for big bucks? Genius, I tell you.
I mean, just think about how many fat women are sit in their sunken-couches thinking evil thoughts about Star Jones when they tune into The View & listen to her gloat about how much skinnier she is today than a few years back. I'm sure those same fat women will be happy when they see Star on Oprah talking about how wonderful it is that her new book is part of Oprah's Book Club. Look out!
Here are a few more photos from her book signing in NY.
Skinny, But Still Fat, Star Jones Gets Creepishly Deep
Friday, January 6th, 2006 in the weewizzle hours by Moe
It seems like everyone's getting deep these days. First Lindsay admits to practicing the art of bulimia & using crack and now Star Jones lays down a few corny memories of her own.
Here are a few lines from her interview w/ People Mags in which she remembers how Al first approached her ass (at this time she was around 250lbs)
At a party on Nov. 13, 2003, a man took my arm and said, "You're not just going to pass me by." This man with skin the color of cooked butter, the most beautiful lips and the deepest brown eyes on the planet continued, "I saw you once at a party five years ago and was too hesitant to approach you, but I'm braver this time." [Definitely Drunk, possibly homosexual, Al Reynolds]
If you haven't had to yack in your trashcan underneath your desk, then the memories of her first couple dates w/ Al might do the trick.
On date one, Al presented me with a CD of songs with the word "star" in them. More important was date two. We'd gone to church and come back to my apartment for a home-cooked meal. Al took my hands and said the words I'll never forget: "I'm not looking for temporary." Whooooaaa. "Well, I'm also not interested in sport dating," I answered. From that moment on, we started thinking of ourselves as two parts of a penny. We'd talk on the phone till 4 in the morning. I left singing messages on his voice mail. He covered the floor of my living room with roses.
I was madly in love. The first time he held me in his arms sexually, it was almost frightening because we knew our erotic interest in each other could take over every other thing.
So we had an intoxicatingly sexual connection the first two months of our relationship. [To. Much. Info.]
Sexual relations between the two thirsty beasts frightened even their pastor. When Star & Al consulted their pastor about marriage, he suggested the couple remain celibate until after marriage & then he mysteriously puked all over his freshly pressed Pastor get-up. May God have mercy on him.
Star Jones & Al Reynolds @ The....BEACH!
Wednesday, January 4th, 2006 after a late four martini lunch by Moe
Apart from photos of shopping carts full of really fattening food, there's really not much else much with which you can follow up our last post except for maybe pics of a woman who was once known to eat entire shopping carts full of really fattening food. [I just spent about 30 minutes trying to unsuccessfully shorten up that lame joke.]
Anyway, I thought Star & Al were super rich & could afford private beaches or extra-exclusive pools made only for the rich?!
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Star Jones Gets Freaky @ Eva Pigford's Party
Monday, December 5th, 2005 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
A small prayer goes out for Al Reynolds. I still cannot explain the love. It's possibly Star has taken someone truly dear to Al hostage & is threatening to eat this person(s) if he doesn't agree to have crazy amount of sex with her each night of the week. [Gag]
Oprah vs. Star Jones - A Bastardly Annoying Contest
Friday, December 2nd, 2005 early in the evening, before sex by Moe
From last night's premiere of The Color Purple in NYC.
If I had a choice of exchanging spit with one of these voluptuous beauties, I'd have to run for Oprah's corner. Next to Star, I gotta say that Oprah's lookin' mighty sexy with those curls. You go girl!!
Before I close, please help me out w/ the new Annoying People Poll. It's in the very early stages...
1. Oprah
2. Star Jones
3. Tyra Banks
4. Bill Walton
5. Bill O'Reilly
6. Geraldo
7. Sound off below!!!
Here are more photos from the premiere.
Star Jones: Fat, Skinny, Old, Wrinkly (& Ugs)
Thursday, October 6th, 2005 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Mercado Certified lunch by Moe
Can someone explain this?
Something has happened here & it definitely doesn't involve extensive exercise. There's a possibility (God forbid, for Al's sake) that a crazy amount of sex was somewhere in the mix, but let's not think about that right now.
Here's a full body shot of Star in the same dress. Make sure don't stare at the photo too long...
Star Jones: Bra or Scalpel?
Friday, June 17th, 2005 in the middle of the damn afternoon by Moe
Just over the weekend, Star Jones threw a huge party filled with endless amounts of food for her metrosexual/homosexual hub's 35th birthday. I'm sure that by the end of the night, Al got plastered & had crazy drunken sex w/ a sweaty Star Jones*. Yum.
Now that you feel all dirty, gaze to the photo above, if you haven't already, and figure out exactly how Star's boobsies are looking so not Star Jonesy. Does the apparent firmness of her right melon finally provide the evidence of massive plastic surgery that we've been in search for all this time or does Star merely have a secret pushup bra that every other fat woman desperately needs.
Whatever the reason, if Star Jones can now figure out a way to make the rest of her body, minus the right boob, disappear, she'd be super hot!
Let's hope he was on top
