Drunken Body Double: Mischa Barton & E.T.



My convo w/ a co-worker prior to posting:

Me: So you think the E.T. & Mischa thing's pretty bad, huh?

Co-Worker: Ya, it's pretty stupid. I don't even think it's...funny.

So w/ that in hand...

If you go for weeks with around 4-5 hours of sleep & then stare @ Mischa's face long enough, desperately trying to find something in that box of a skull to make fun of, you'll slowly see the E.T. inside of her come to life*. Her long neck, pronounced cheekbones, eyes & huge forehead will all morph into E.T. in front of your very eyes! It's amazing, I tell you.

In an attempt to make up for this horrible-horrible post, here are some pics of Mischa wearing a scandalously skimpy robe. All you horny guys out there, don't bump your heads into your monitor as you try to find Mischa's nipple.








*In order to make this work some of you might require cocaine, marijuana, heroin or of course, if you don't have access to those drugs or the money to buy them, excessive amounts of alcohol can serve as an adequate substitute.

Comment on this Scandalous entry »

30 Scandalous Comments

Nice shroud, Mischa. Oh and nice fivehead too.

I must be getting old, I don't 'get' her. Average and ordinary. Inoffensive but totally unremarkable.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 10:56am
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Great post! I never liked this girl, and she is so not hot! ET suits her perfect.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 11:07am
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I'm not drunk, nor am I stoned, yet. (It takes FOREVER for 10 A.M. to arrive!) Okay, I am drunk. A little high, too. But, that doesn't change the fact that Mischa is sporting a strong DNA link to our little alien friend.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 11:17am
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She's cute, but a terrible terrible actress.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 11:50am
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awww, she will hit puberty someday.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 12:39pm
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Don't see the ET thing, but she does look a little like an Olsen Monkey. NO?

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 1:17pm
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I just don get why she is so much in demand. She cant act and she is really plain looking. Really ugly. She did herself damage by becoming one of Paris' pals so she has 0 cred in my book.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 1:25pm
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Oh Lordy! alota plain Janes walkin' around town these days that are worshiped. I'll buy it... why do you need to be gorgeous to command respect!!

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 2:03pm
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she is a pretty girl, but not really anything spectacular. she has a plain look that can be versatile with the right make up & stuff.
MK olsen is the real ET lookalike.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 3:07pm
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you people are stupid..... look at yourself.... ur not good looking... geez.... there are people dying in the world and here u are talking about toe nails and physical features....

I'm sorry about your boring 9-5 (if that) mundane life.... but seriously... don't take out your plight on rich, famous, and beautiful people

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 3:33pm
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Sandy,

I am good looking

so there! Im allowed :)

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 3:46pm
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Really,
Is that a pic of you on your website?.....

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 4:51pm
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I made the toenail crack. Please direct your scathing assessment to me directly, Sandy. I can take it.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 5:07pm
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She's a (skinny little) fox, bad dress but she's a high fashion girl.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 5:28pm
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Sandy, GET OVER YOURSELF!

It's called The Bastardly. We dish on celebrities. It's what we do here. I think in order to 'take it out on' these poor celebrities, they would have to care. I'm thinking they don't.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 6:20pm
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Skellawhore?

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 7:14pm
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Yeah Sandy,

Get off your high horse already....i agree that Mischa is plain looking but in a rather lovely looking way...great skin, nice clothes, slim body.....Lovely is the word to describe her..there is nothing stunning about her looks...Yeah, what she's wearing is on runways nowadays so i guess she's really up to date with the latest fashion

Saturday, October 22nd, 2005 @ 12:58am
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Sandy ~ Please do write some additional smack directed at me, personally. As I will thoroughly enjoy ripping you a new one.

Saturday, October 22nd, 2005 @ 4:00am
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Woah whats with all the bitching on the site. We all are entitled to our oppinions. Just because we say something negative about people we dont respect doesnt give anyone the right to be twat like. You arent going to suddenly think..oh no wait she is STUNNING.
linetkova does my opinion really matter THAT much to you? If you get so bothered by my op (which Ill be the first to admit can be harsh and DOESNT make effect the world) you need therapy.

Calm the feck down...the nature of this topic was comparing her to ET so DONT COME ON A WEBSITE that rips celebs apart if you worship them.
And I think it is an offence to poor old ET to be compared to that dog.

So VOILA! I 'ave spoken!

Saturday, October 22nd, 2005 @ 3:41pm
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mischa's gorgeous u ppl are smoking crack.

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005 @ 5:27am
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Mischa is still a fat pig. Her ribs are TOTALLY covered by GROSS fat!

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005 @ 10:10am
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lol im guessing sandy's comment was sarcastic..?

Friday, December 2nd, 2005 @ 11:29pm
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HAHAHA THATS THE FUNNIEST SHIT!! she really DOES look like ET! fuck i hate this dickhed...i duno why but her accent just makes her acting look fake... i duno

Monday, March 20th, 2006 @ 12:57pm
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Though I do see the resemblence. I still think Mischa Barton is the best looking chick in Hollywood TODAY.

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 @ 6:05pm
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GMAVQ, sweetydarling, and why SHOULD you wait for 10 am? It's cocktail hour somewhere in the world RIGHT NOW.

Cheers!

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 11:29am
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OMG! I'm in love with DB's Wife. She's witty AND an enabler.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 11:52am
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It isnt my website, it is George Martin's website, he's an author, my screen name is a character from his book.

And take my post lightly, it was a joke.

Friday, October 21st, 2005 @ 4:54pm
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I think Mischa is pretty. Lord knows she looks better than Paris H. and her sister and all of their famous friends.

Saturday, October 22nd, 2005 @ 7:03am
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sorry i meant sunnys not sandys, woops

Friday, December 2nd, 2005 @ 11:30pm
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dude, how can you see a resemblance between her & ET & then say she's the hottest in Hollywood TODAY?

that's fucked up.

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006 @ 6:06pm
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