Jessica Alba In Playboy: Holy Son Of A Bitch! There Is A God!!

I just masturbated 7 times to the *idea* she's gonna be in Playboy.

I feel sorry for my penis if the rumors are true.

haha. I was shocked too, man.

Unfortunately, I think it'll be one of those layouts where she's pretty much modeling super skimpy clothing....

Sarah, you could've waited a little longer (at least until comment #6 or 10 or something) to push us into Limplantic Ocean.

that pic of her looks like it's from that terrible movie she did w/ paul walker.

Article translated from Swedish:

When Playboy ranked the world's 25 sexiest women, Jessica Alba landed on the top spot. Because of this, she's the cover girl of the March edition of Playboy magazine.
Jessica Alba, aged 24, is listed high on men's wishlist. Recently, she conquered the title "AskMen.com’s Most Desirable Woman". Now, she is the proud keeper of the Playboy title "Sex star of the year", norwegian paper Verldens gang writes.
Jessica Alba, known for movies �Sin City� and �Fantastic 4� is the cover girl, dressed only in a bikini and even less inside the magazine.

i must have a great imagination because just by looking at all the pics of her prancing around the beach in a skimpy bikini i can already imagine what she looks like naked & its pretty boring. she has a great body just like most famous young celebrities & models...there isnt really anything that unique about her...sorry, but her face just doesnt do it for me. she is also a dreadful actress, so she may as well pose nude....it shouldnt hurt her career.
i dont hate her & she is a pretty girl, i am just not that impressed by her.

"Sarah, you could’ve waited a little longer (at least until comment #6 or 10 or something) to push us into Limplantic Ocean."

I think a better pun might've been the Flaccific Ocean.

Aw Moe....sorry :)

JCRodgers -
that is an AMAZING pun right there

I agree with Gia.

Translation-

Jessica Albanian absconds out themselves in Playback Coral to " six stout perceive the year " When herrtidningen Playback rank with the world sexigaste female celebrity land Jessica Albanian in tops. Accordingly sheep she also adorn compress of Mar size of Playback. Jessica Albanian , 24, am standing high up on mans önskelista. For only any days sedan conquer she headings as " mans drömflickvän " on Askmen.com. Now able she crow with headings �Sex stout perceive the year� as magazine Playback nominate every year , am typing Verldens ganglion. Jessica Albanian , as is knew from pictures as �Sin City� and �Fantastiska discharging syns on compress iklädd only bikini and on desto more lättklädda pictures in in magazine. Defeated Pamela Andes Stjärnorna as was getting watch themselves knock of actress is among second Carmen Electra , Mary Carey Beyoncé Knowles and others Pamela Andes.

The Headline roughly reads "Jessica Alba Folds and Outs Herself in Playboy"

Tsss, never trust Aftonbladet.

She's getting up there with becoming the world's biggest tease. Not that there's anything wrong with that....I'm just sayin'.

I'll have to agree with Gia aswell. When I look at her pics in the bikini I always think...well I look like that in a bikini. Why am I not a super star? But I have to disagree about the face, because she has a great vibe. So adorable and she's always glowing with health. The girl is very smart too, because if she poses naked she won't be as interesting and popular as she is. Now she's a tease and people want to see more of her.

To sum it up for you, she's a hottie but she's no slut, like it or not.

A Concerned Fan:

Awesome site, man! I'll try to plug you later this week...you're doing a public service, my friend. If you are successful in your endeavor, you should receive some kind of presidential award (or something...)

http://pleasedoitmshewitt.blogspot.com/

[...] If Jessica Alba agrees to pose nude for Playboy magazine then I’ll agree to appear naked swimming in a pool of dollars on the cover of Forbes magazine. Don’t get too excited already, I’m still considering the offer. [The Bastardly] [...]

Moelicious: right on brother! JLH for President! Uh...yeah.

I think Jessica Alba is a beautiful women but she looked better with darker hair, the lighter her hair gets the more she becomes formulayic in her beauty, her dark hair made her beauty more unique.
but thats just my oppinion

Well, I'm a sucker. I ponied up the 6 bucks. Great cover but I've seen it before. One photo on the inside, non-nude and hardly even suggestive. Otherwise, just another typical boring Playboy, with its airbrushed models, un-funny comics, and un-interesting articles.

[...] snagged the pic from here [...]

Today myself and a few of my customers mused over what is ‘really’ going on re: Miss Jessica Alba and Playboy.

First, if you live under a rock I will let you know that the aforementioned appears on the cover and two shots inside the March issue of PLAYBOY. Needless to say she is not nude in any of the pictures.

Now in this day in age wherein people can sue fast food companies for hot coffee and you cannot say boo to someone for fear that they might sue you for emotional distress, WE find it IMPOSSIBLE that the Lawyers and editorial staff that work for PLAYBOY were without knowledge of what would happen when PLAYBOY published this issue. THEY KNEW. You can bet your sweet bippy that they had an army of actuarial’s crunching numbers to decide if the downside was worth it. PLAYBOY is now plastered all over everything and no one is even saying boo about that.

You can bet that they figured they might get hit with a 2 or 3 million dollar settlement. BUT can you imagine how much it would cost to get all the ADVERTISING that they are getting now? Someone made a decision that it would be IN THEIR BEST INTEREST to run the photo.

Mind you, Jessica will not take it on the chin either. She just finished filming a new movie and you can bet that is getting mentioned in most of the coverage of this ‘fiasco’.

COME ON PEOPLE. It is 2006. EVERY ONE knows EVERYTHING about what the consequences are when they do or do not do something. MULTIPLY that knowledge by a factor of 20 when you figure a battery of lawyers and editorial staff and handlers and publicists are in the mix.

In the end, you can bet this will be settled out of court and Jessica’s new movie will do a little better and the House that Hef built will make a few more bucks and may have a bloody nose. BUT that is what air brushers and photo-shop are for.

DO NOT BE FOOLED people. They knew what was going on. ALL of them knew.

She's Fucking Hot man i would have .... her if she was in my house naked

ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU HERMANITA!!!! SHE IS JUST SO UGLY AND TALANTLESS AND SO SO SO SORRY IM NOT JUMPING ON THE FUCKIN ALBATROSS BANDWAGON, I LIKE BLONDES, REAL ONES, AND ONES THAT HAVE CLASS ( YEAH YEAH I SAW HER WITH THE CAVIAR SO FUCKIN WHAT? SHE STILL LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN 3- YEAR OLD ), AND ONES THAT ACTUALLY ADMIT WHO THEY ARE. OHHHH SO SO SO SORRY I DONT AGREE WITH ALL THE DUDES IN THE ROOM.

i agree with hermaita and gia as well.
sorry, but although she as an ok bod, her face is plain homely. i read about how she works out, so i run 3 miles a day with 5 lbs weights in each hand( but i dontknow if she runs with weights ), a 30 minute ass workout, an hour on the star master, an hour on the elliptical, a 40- minute ab session and an hour of pilates, then i got to belly dancing class every other day. actually, i know she does the pilates, cardio, running and ellipitcal, im not sure about the others i mentioned, i just like to work out! ;) it worked for me and im only 5 feet tall! ;)
but i knew she wouldnt be in playboy nude, i mean, come on she ws a stripper in sin city and didnt take her clothes off....

Robby at comment 25, you are a complete idiot. you have such un realistic standards. Chicks probably hate you cause your such a dick. Albas totally gorgeous. Your probably ugly as an ass and you just think you can say shit like that cause nobody knows what you look like. " oh i like classy blonds" shut the hell up!

Wouldnt it be disasterous if Jessica did go nude and she had the most hideous pussy ever. Well, she has been thrashed in the bed (I would thrash her)... so perhaps she has this really long dangly flaps and a mole. Or warts. Haha thats funny. I don't think I like Jessica Alba anymore! Cya later

HOLY SON OF A BITCH THERE IS A FUCKIN GOD IF I GET TO SEE HER IN PLAYBOY ......GANGRAPED AND DEAD IN A FUCKIN COFFIN, ID STILL SPIT IN THE CUNT'S FAT FACE

ALLS I GOTTA SAY IS MEAT CURTIANS
YOU DONT LIKE MY OPINION ON SLOBBA? SUCK IT BITCHES

The posts about her are so stupid she is not hot I dont give a fuck about her and Playboy she will NOT be doing it and I dont care she would give PLay boy a bad name anyways the stupid baboon looking bitch.

CLARA, NEITHER DO I, BUT ITS SO MUCH FUN TO BREAK OUT WHAT AN OVERRATED PILE OF SHIT SHE IS. UGLY, FAT, TALENTLESS, AND I FOR ONE AGREE WITH #25 ROBBY BECAUSE IM SO HAPPY ANOTHER STR8 MALE SEES THE FUCKIN LIGHT!!!
SUCK IT, LANCE, YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED THE VASELENE SMEARED OFF YOUR GLASSES. OH YEAH, AND YOU SHOULD REGISTER FOR A SEX OFFENDER BECAUSE THAT (UGLY ) FACE MAKES ME WANT TO FUCKIN SPEW CHUNKS EVERY TIME I SEE HER. NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN I WHACK IT TO HER, THATS MY NIGHTMARE, SEEING THAT FAT CUNT NEKKID, WE ALL KNOW THE FAT CELLULITE-RIDDEN SKEEZE HAS MEAT CURTIANS AND ONE GIANT, STINKY TANG.
DONT LIKE MY OPINION OF SLOBBA? FUCKIN SUCK IT

CHECK IT BITCHES, LOOK AT YOUR AWFUL VD INFESTED CRABS DOIN BUNGIE JUMPS OFF HER CORD SHES SO NARSTY CUNT AT HER SHITTY MTV PROMO AWARDS!!
LOOK AT HOW FAT AND HUGE HER ASS IS, NOT TO MENTION HER GROSS THUNDER THIGHS!!! LOLOL!! DONT SAY I WASNT RIGHT ABOUT THE FAT ASS!!!! LOLOL!!
http://www.egotastic.com/image?path=0605/jessica-alba-mtv-fight-16.jpg&i... Alba Fights on MTV Pictures

CUT AND PAST OR DO WHATYOU HAVE TO, BUT YOU GOTTA SEE IT BITCHES
LOLOLOLOL!!!!

ALL YOUS HATERS ARE DIK HEADS..Y YOUS HATING ON HER U FOOLS..LETS SEE A PIC OF YOU DEN VITO BET UR FUKKING FAT AND UGLY AND HAVE LOADS OF SPOTS SITTING ON THE COMPUTER WASTING YOUR TIME ON HERE..AND CLARA LETS SEE A PIC OF YOU DEN SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE...JESSICA ALBAS BEAUTIFUL AND YOUS KNOW IT YOUR JUST JEALOUS COZ SHES A CELEBRATIE AND IS REALLY PRETTY..OW YEH VITO I NOTICED YOUVE WROTE ON HERE LIKE 100 TIMES HATING ON HER DONT YOU HAVE A LIFE OR DO U SIT ON UR FAT ARSE HATING..WELL EVERYONE KNOWS WAT THAT IS JEALOUSY....JESSICA U RULE.....

I so agree with ya Serena X

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Jessica Alba In Playboy: Holy Son Of A Bitch! There Is A God!!

She is ugly - plain and simple.

ouo

imsorryhearthat...

I read about this today, apparently the rumors are false. They took a picture from a photographer who sold it to them but there are no nudie pics, just a few bikini pics which she is apparently furious about. She's not even receiving any money from the magazine. Sorry to be a wet blanket. :(