Hugh Hefner

Hugh Hefner & His Blonde Army @ "Celebrity Catwalk" Benefit

Moe — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:30:00 -0400

Johnstone/Boon/Splash News

Which guy wouldn't kill to be in Hugh Hefner's shoes for just a night (or two)...? GOD DAMN! That dude gets more action in one weekend than I'll probably get in my entire lifetime. Bastard.

More about the Celebrity Catwalk fashion show:
It's an annual benefit where top celebrities lend their time & talent by hitting the catwalk for charity, raising funds & awareness for National Animal Rescue. (Source)

Hef's Twins Kristina & Karissa Shannon Get Some Weed!

Moe — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:30:00 -0500

Photo Credit: GABO/bauergriffinonline.com

DAMNNNNNNN YOU, HEF!! I can't believe Hef has bought out these two hotties for so damn cheap! If you guys wanna learn the exact terms of their hush-hush agreement with Master Hugh Hefner, check out an older article in which Hef's former girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson comes clean about her life @ the Playboy Mansion.

Anyway, these were pics were snapped yesterday as the twin hotties hit up a medicinal marijuana store in Los Angeles. I guess free weed is just one of the many perks of sexing up Hugh Hefner...

Kendra Wilkinson Comes Clean! Life With Hef Wasn't So Rosey!

Moe — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:47:00 -0500

After being paid tons of cash, Kendra Wilkinson recently gave Us Magazine the dirty lowdown on living life with the one & only Hugh Hefner. Most of what Kendra said didn't come off as a total surprise, of course.

Bastardly Revelations:
- She sneaked out to have sex only because she “had to have sex.” Another girlfriend, Bridget Marquardt wasn't as scandalous. Kendra revealed to Us Mag, “Bridget told me that she's been faithful all these years, and I was like, 'How the hell can you do that?' I had to have sex so I could feel my age, like a healthy human being."

- She didn't see Hef that much. She said: “Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates. The most we kind of say to each other is, 'I love you,' 'Love you too,' 'I hope you have a good day,' 'Did you have a good day?’ ”

- Girlfriends weren't allowed to have have jobs.

- She got paid $1000 per week, plus any additional cash paid for appearances.

- Girlfriends weren't allowed to spend holidays with families.

- Staff was strict & monitored their movements in a book that Hef inspected in the morning.

So, what does Kendra think about her lifestyle w/ Hef now that she's with another sugar daddy??

She says, "Now I'm totally against his way of life, with three girlfriends and all of that.”

Whatever the case, Kendra whored-out her relationship with Hef to the best of her abilities. I guess now that she's temporarily engaged to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett, she feels it's alright to talk about her lifestyle with Hef. You'd think that Hef would've covered his ass by having Kendra sign some sort of confidentiality agreement when she leave the mansion back in October, 2008.

Dasha Astafieva Does A Sexy Photo Shoot @ The Playboy Mansion!

Moe — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 15:29:00 -0500

It appears as if sexy Ukrainian model Dasha Astafieva is doing really well in Beverly Hills. When she's not busy tea-bagging Master Hef, she's building a kickass career for herself. This photo shoot is simply case in point. You don't need to be naked in order to look hot, baby!

Dasha showed us exactly what she's capable of at a party thrown by Playboy last month. Here's a sample of what took place:
See more pics from the event!
I don't know about you bastards, but this lady has "Freaky Animal In The Sack" written all over her, so we're looking forward to what else she has to offer! We love you, Dasha!!

DAMN YOU, HEF!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!

Dasha Astafieva: This Week's Most Popular Babe on Bastardly!

Moe — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 11:06:00 -0500

Photo Credit: Splash News
See more pics from the big anniversary event!

Dasha Astafieva's latest career move involves endlessly pleasuring Hef & making sure she remains his favorite bunny until he passes away during a session of viagra-assisted sex. It's bound to happen one of these days, and Dasha's lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. We wish her best of luck.

I'm pretty sure there's a clause in Hef's will that reads, "The girl who's lucky enough to fuck me to death should get 10% of Playboy assets. She deserves it."

Dasha Astafieva: January, 2009 Playmate of the Month, 55th Anniversary Playmate AND Hef's Girlfriend!!

Moe — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:33:00 -0500

Photo Credit: SPLASH NEWS

How lucky is Hugh Hefner? The dude is still sleeping with some of the hottest, albeit somewhat slutty, chicks in the world---and doing it all at the age of 82!! A lot of people will probably say they wouldn't wanna live such a hedonistic life, but admit it, most of us dudes would kill to be in Hef's shoes for even a few days. Anyway, as with any other weekend, the old man had sex w/ his Playmate bitches except this weekend had a special guest flown in from abroad. Hef threw a huge party @ One Nightclub in West Hollywood to welcome one of his hottest new girlfriends, a sexy, brunette Ukranian model named Dasha Astafieva!

Playboy announced Dasha as January, 2009's Playmate of the Month & if that wasn't enough, she's also Playboy's 55th Anniversary Playmate. It looks like someone's been doing a lot of overtime in Hef's bedroom.

Kendra Wilkinson Gets Engaged!! Hef Has Girlfriend Job Openings!

Moe — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:00:00 -0500

Photo Credit: INFPhoto.com
See more pics from the the 2008 Really Awards.

As reported last week, Kendra Wilkinson has successfully used her Hef & Playboy connections to land a wifie position w/ Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett. The football player popped the Q atop Seattle's Space Needle earlier this month. To show his love for Kendra, Hef's throwing a wedding bash this coming June at his Playboy Masion---assuming things between Kendra & her new man last that long.

Photo Credit: Jose Perez / Splash News
These were snapped in NYC at Mariah Carey's Halloween Party. See more pics of Kendra here!

In just the last month, a total of two chicks have left the mansion, so does this mean Hef will spend the remaining years of his life watching porn & dropping massive quantities of Viagra? Yeah right.

Hef has more than moved on. He's actively taking apps from hot white chicks from all over the globe to fill the vacancies on his bed. Please note that the application process involves tea-bagging Hef, so apply w/ extreme caution. At the moment he's vetting (having old-man/young-hotties sex) w/ sexy twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, so expect some delays in hearing back from Hef & Co.

Pictured: Karissa and Kristina Shannon in a recent Playboy layout.

DAMN YOU HEF, DAMN YOU!!

Holly vs Bridget vs Kendra - A Three-Way Bastardly Matchup!

Moe — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 18:01:00 -0400

Photo Credit: INFDaily.com

These were snapped @ the 2008 Really Awards, an award put on for all the wack reality TV stars we love to hate, but watch anyway b/c we have nothing better to do at 2:30AM in the morning. Every skanky ho & her granny showed up to the event---except the Kardashian family. The award show airs on Saturday, October 11 at 10p ET/PT on Fox Reality!

And now, let's focus on our three-way matchup between Hef's favorite playmates. I'm pretty sure we've done this one before, but who gives a shit. You guys know the drill...Vote & comment w/ deep thoughts down below.

Hugh Hefner & His Sex Toys @ The House Bunny LA Premiere

Moe — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:00:00 -0400

Photo Credit: AXELLE/BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM
(L-R): Holly Madison, Lucky Bastard Hugh Hefner, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson.

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner's not getting a new girlfriend, rep says

Hugh Hefner is sticking with blonds - for now.

The Playboy founder has no plans to add a fourth girlfriend to his posse, his rep told the Daily News on Wednesday.

According to several reports, brunette Ukranian model Dasha Astafieva has caught the eye of the 82-year-old - and riled up his current girlfriends in the process.

Astafieva allegedly hit it off with Hefner after meeting with Playboy about appearing in an upcoming issue.

Hefner has even hinted at having his new gal pal move into the Playboy mansion, the National Enquirer says, a prospect that reportedly "terrified" girlfriends and "Girls Next Door" stars Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt.

According to Russia Today, the stunner has already moved into Hefner's Los Angeles home.
But it's all hooey, the Playboy rep says.

Astafieva "doesn't live here. She lives in the Ukraine," the publicist said. "She's not even here now. ...I haven't heard of any scheduled plans for her to come back to town." [NY Daily News]